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Top 10 TLO articles for May…

Before we get to last month’s top stories, I’d like to point you to a cool article that recently appeared in the Columbia Journalism Review. You know, that liberal publication that once claimed Oklahoma City was home to "the worst newspaper in America."

Earlier this week, CJR profiled the employee-owned sports website Defector. The piece shares our Lede cohort’s origin story, provides a glimpse into the website’s employee-owned business model, and in a roundabout way, explains how small, reader-supported publications (like this one) are the future of independent media and journalism.

If you want to help support our weird contribution to that future, sign up as TLO subscriber today! For less than the price of one Taco Bell Mexican Pizza per month, you can get 24/7 access to all TLO content, commenting privileges, and the joy of telling your friends you’re a proud supporter of OKC’s 17-year-old home of, well, stuff like this…

Stitt honors State Employees with comically absurd typo-filled proclamation…

During a quick look through, I found eleven errors in the document, not including the lack of semi-colons in paragraph two. 

I think my favorites were “Deliver effciences,” “Cristomer-focused” and, best of all, “Oklahoma's state employees preserve puble salety and the health of our dititzens.”

Obviously, you have to wonder how these blatant errors not only occurred, but also slipped through the cracks. I know Stitt likes state employees about as much as he does Georgia mortgage banking regulations, but at least read the stuff that has your signature on it!

OHP Troopers were involved in Owasso Golf Course brawl…

Let this serve as a lesson to everyone – whether you're a tough guy cop or their wife armed with a beer – to not engage in a fight with a bunch of MMA dudes. There’s a good chance it won’t end well.

See also: MMA dudes decisively win Owasso golf course brawl…

Dude on Tiny Motorcycle Sparks Surprisingly Reasonable Road Rage from OKC Cop and Motorist…

If you're new to motorcycling and can't make it over a hill with a "backpack" without stalling out, maybe you should stick to driving your little moped around grandma's neighborhood. Seriously, who turns the bike off with the key and turns it back on to restart it? You also don't need the passenger to get off to restart the bike. I know this because, uhm, I asked a friend who owns a Harley.

Carly Atchison leaving Governor Stitt’s Comms Office!!!

Thanks to a tweet from the OKPoliticalMeme Twitter Account, we have learned that Carly Atchison – Governor Stitt’s famed Communications She-Troll who lives exclusively on a diet of Fox News soundbites, liberal tears, and banned library books  – has accepted a new job starting May 22nd. 

As a result, the Oklahoma Governor’s office is in search of a new Communications Director!

See Also: Farewell ODe to Carly Atchison

I think we know why Kevin and Ryan are protecting Coach Koons…

With so many credible allegations being lobbed Coach Koons, why would Ryan Walters allow Superintendent Southward to reinstate him? At the very least, you’d think Ryan would try to revoke Koons's teaching credentials like he does for pesky teachers who share QR codes to the library.

Ryan Walters’ BFF, aka The Real Ron Ron, arrested on stalking and burglary charges…

Earlier today, we were bombarded with reports via the Ogle Mole Network informing us that Ronald "The Real Ron Ron" Causby – an ultra-right-wing Oklahoma GOP social media “influencer," podcaster, and bonafide Ryan Walters super fan – was arrested late Sunday night in Tulsa on stalking and burglary charges. 

According to the inmate lookup on Tulsa County Jail, Ron Ron is being held on a $10,000 bond and his address is listed as “homeless.”

News 9’s Sassy Mama observes positive aspects of colonization while enjoying a bánh mi…

Yep, that’s right – “Colonization’s never great, but they did bring French bread.”

Those are some wise words indeed. Obviously, that Sassy Momma’s been reading up on the 

“Effects of French Colonial rule on Vietnam” over at Britannica.

Ryan Langston-Walters conducts secret operation to catch agency leakers and whistleblowers!

I don’t know why Ryan and Matt are so eager to catch whistleblowers. The two guys obviously love attention and sticking it to the libs, so you’d think they’d be all for people inside the agency leaking their plans to destroy Oklahoma public education from the inside.

I mean, how else will all their grifter buddies, homeschool moms, and private charter school pals know to thank them for executing their disingenuous, clandestine plan to not apply for federal education grants?

Aaron Tuttle’s Twitter account suspended…

Yesterday afternoon, we received a tip via the Ogle Mole Network informing us that Aaron’s Twitter account has been suspended! 

While he primarily uses his Facebook account for weather forecasting – and to apparently shill weather thermometers and a new realty biz he started with his wife – Aaron goes full right-wing edge lord on the micro-blogging platform, spending his free-time fighting the online culture wars while also spreading quack conspiracy theories about Covid, vaccines and global elites. You know, typical Qanon nutso stuff.

Dahmest Person Alive Named Chairman of Oklahoma GOP…

This past weekend, the Oklahoma GOP held its big statewide convection in Tulsa – a jean dress, Kohl’s sports jacket, red MAGA hat affair where some of the world’s most devout conspiracy theorists, election deniers, militiamen, religious freaks, racists, theocrats, essential oils salespeople and other Christian nationalists gathered to select who would lead the state party as it descends further into dystopian madness.

LIkely impressed by his recent disembowelment by Jon Stewart in a made-for-re-tweet interview, attendees selected one of the Dahmest people alive to serve as the new chairman: State Senator Nathan Dahm.

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