2022 TLO Year In Review: April

Our year-end retrospective continues with a look back at the fantastic month of April 2022 – the month the lid officially blew off the smoker on Swadley's Foggy Bottom Swindle.

Relive the smokey magic below...

4/5/22: State Getting To Foggy Bottom of Swadley’s Swindle…

4/18/22: Smoke keeps flowing from Swadley’s “Foggy Bottom” Swindle!

4/25/22: State pulls plug on Swadley’s Foggy Bottom contract!

4/26/22: Swadley’s Foggy Bottom Swindle to cost 300 people their jobs…

4/28/22: 10 Possible Replacements for Swadley’s Foggy Bottom Kitchen…

As a ripped-off Oklahoma taxpayer, I have to admit the great Swadley's Swindle was a pretty infuriating news story to watch unfold, but as an Internet publisher who covered the saga and is fond a barbeque puns and metaphors, it's been fun to cover and great for business!

Swadley's wasn't the only thing to happen in April though...

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Equity Brewing Co. issues online manifesto after patron calls owner “Sweetheart…”

I know I'm a Gen-X edge lord who's out of touch on some things – and I'm all for Suzette standing up for herself and confronting the dude – but did the incident really necessitate a 500+ word man-splaining manifesto about why you shouldn't use the word "Sweetheart?" Breweries are where people should be able to go and be themselves and not worry about modern-day culture wars. It's not a university safe space!

In fact, it kind of makes me wonder if it's all being intentionally blown out of proportion for the sake of publicity and marketing. This place is called Equity Brewing Co. for a reason, and they do cater to the modern-day woke beer-drinking crowd. In fact, maybe they'll launch an entire social-justice-driven line of beers down the road, including favorites such as "Toxic Masculinity Stout," "She, Her and They: Triple Pronoun IPA" and a special limited-edition "Defund The Po-Yeast Lambicus."

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Carol Stoops caught cheating on Rock N Roll tequila…

There's a scandal fermenting in the Norman area!

Thanks to the Ogle Mole Network, we've learned that Carol Stoops, wife of Bob, has been cozying up with alcoholic beverages that are not Rock N Roll tequila.

We know this because we literally have the receipts...

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Ryan Walters spent three months driving with a suspended drivers license…

Well, I guess we know why Ryan Walters always looks so paranoid when driving around town recording videos in his car!

Thanks to a tip via the Ogle Mole Network, we've learned that in 2021, Ryan Walters – Stitt's Bro'cetary of Education and the GOP's preferred candidate for State School Superintendant – had his license suspended and a bench warrant issued for his arrest in 2021 after he failed to pay a speeding ticket.

It kind of makes you wonder if he should be more focused on tending to his personal affairs as opposed to what sports teenagers play or where they use the bathroom!

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The 10 Hottest Sheriffs in Oklahoma…

We love to recognize all of our sheriffs for their hard work, impeccable ethics, and ravishing good looks, and this ranking is a good way to do so. Before we get to Top 10, here are some stats about our state's 77 sheriffs that I came up with after looking at their pictorial on the Oklahoma Sheriff's Association Website:

• 99% are men
• 96% are white men
• 61% have a beard, goatee, or weird mustache
• 31% wear cowboy hats
• 13% don't have visible necks.

With that out of the way, I present a totally scientific, accurate, and all-in-good-fun ranking of the 10 Hottest Sheriffs in Oklahoma…

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Spaulding Hefner sued by Continental Resources…

If you get any creepy DMs from Carol Hefner this week talking about her son's innocence, I guess we know why!

Over the weekend, we received multiple alerts via The Ogle Mole Network informing us that Robert "Spaulding" Hefner the Whatever'ith is the latest Junior Oil Overlord to be sued by House Hamm & Continental Resources for allegedly conspiring to steal the company's oil and gas secrets.

The lawsuit is similar to the one Continental filed against Blaine Dyer and his Merry Men back in April of 2020, which Spaulding is connected to as well.