Say what you want about Ryan Walters – he sure is good at getting his ass whipped in court!
In news that’s not a surprise to anyone who has either read a civics book and/or wasn’t home-schooled, the Oklahoma Supreme Court has blocked, halted, and frozen – it kind of depends on which local media outlet you go with – Ryan Walters’s dumb request to get OMES to procure a bunch of Bibles, Christian coloring books, and other Judeo-Christian indoctrination materials for Oklahoma classrooms.
In case you need proof:
The general TLDR from all these news reports is…
– Ryan sent out a couple of RFPs to OMES to buy a bunch of Bibles and what’s basically vacation Bible school pamphlets for Oklahoma classrooms.
– This led groups like the ACLU to petition the court and ask them to block him.
– Seeing an opening, OMES was like, "Hey, can we just ignore these RFPs while y’all officially confirm this is blatantly unconstitutional?"
– The court was like, "Yeah, that’s fine."
I guess the good news from all that is – at least for now – Oklahoma students will be immune from having the Bible forced down their throats at school, and now only have to experience and endure Christian indoctrination in just about every other cultural facet of their Oklahoma lives.
You know, like when they swear on a Bible not to lie to judges!
The bad news is that – at least for now – we have to wait for the Oklahoma Supreme Court to issue its final ruling on whether or not you can use taxpayer funding to turn public schools into Sunday school.
You’d think with our Supreme Court justices being moderately intelligent, college-educated people who – unlike Ryan Walters – have actually studied the Constitution, that they’ll go full Chet Holmgren and block Ryan’s Bible-buying attempt back into the heavenly clouds, but this is Oklahoma we live in.
As we’ve documented over the years, Oklahoma judges can be an unpredictable lot. For every good one, we have another firing guns on busy streets, pumping it in court, or gossiping about a prosecutor's small penis.
On that note, wouldn’t it be nice if we could get the best of both worlds here?
For example, when Chief Justice Rowe issues his final ruling that hopefully and finally ends Ryan’s attempt to buy the Bibles, maybe he’ll go full scorched earth and slip in something like this:
"While the court does not claim to know the exact dimensions of the defendant’s small penis or the extent to which he may be attempting to overcompensate, we can say with certainty that his unconstitutional scheme to funnel taxpayer dollars into the purchase of ancient religious texts is as legally valid as a snake-handling sermon in a government building. The defendant’s attempt to turn public schools into his personal Sunday school is not just an egregious violation of the Oklahoma Constitution, but also a tragic display of one man’s desperate need for validation from both evangelical grifters and whatever God he thinks is watching."
"Accordingly, the plaintiffs' request for injunctive relief is granted, and the respondents are hereby enjoined from implementing any policies or programs that use taxpayer funds for religious instruction in public schools."
Honestly, that would probably be the first time in Oklahoma history a Supreme Court decision would get a standing ovation. Make this happen, Honorable Justice Rowe, sir.
Anyway, I guess we’ll wait around for the court to issue its final decision and, more importantly, see what words the local media uses to describe it in the headlines.
Hopefully, we don't get a bunch "hallelujahs," "amens" and "hail marys," and instead are treated to “crucifies,” “stones,” and “fed to lions.”
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
