Top 10 TLO articles of 2024… so far

I'm taking some time off this week for spring break, so I thought it would be fun to take a trip down memory lane and look back at the Top 10 TLO articles of 2024... so far.

10. Baptists to Colonize Bricktown…
Date: 2/13/24

As a guy who had a little podcast studio / hot box in an alley in Bricktown, I actually think the Baptists can bring a lot to the district and help clean up the area.

For example, they can hand out free bibles and anti-abortion pamphlets to all the homeless folks and teenage gang members who loiter in the district on Friday nights, which will immediately get them to start hanging out in new places like Film Row!

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9. 106.9 KTLO announces it will never play Beyonce, Country, or any other type of bad music…
Date: 2/14/24

After consulting with our program manager Clark Matthews and PR coordinator Renzi Stone, I’m proud to announce that my independently owned and operated radio station – 106.9 KTLO The Mole – will never play Beyonce, Country, or any other form of bad music on our airwaves.

This also includes Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, and any other artist with a large and passionate fan base.

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8. Ryan Walters puts his deranged mark on Oklahoma “Teacher of the Year” selection process…
Date: 2/22/24

To help determine this year’s Oklahoma Teacher of the Year, Ryan has apparently organized a special selection committee to vet and review candidates.

I have no clue who’s on the committee, but based on some of the questions they’re allegedly asking teachers, I’m going to assume the co-chairs are The Real Ron Ron, The Libs of TikTok Lady, and Leonard “Ol Ranger” Scott.

If you’re wondering why, just check out the following Facebook post shared by Oklahomans for Public Education.

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7. Sellout Crowd Lays-Off Staff and Is Officially on the Ropes…
Date: 3/5/24

Well, I guess selling out isn’t as easy as some people thought!

Yesterday afternoon, the Oklahoma City sports media scene learned that SelloutCrowd.com – the Toby Keith and Bob Stoops-backed sports media website that arrogantly announced its arrival back in August – has parted ways with a good chunk of its content creators and beat writers.

The scene unfolded like a sad melodrama on Xitter, with content creator after content creator begrudgingly announcing they’ve hit the local sports media waiver wire, even though they were allegedly promised the start-up had three years of funding to cover salaries.

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6. Filth-Loathing Oklahoma Lawmaker Has Hardcore Instagram Model Fetish…
Date: 2/28/24

Thanks to a hard-hitting TLO investigation that required hours and hours of rigorous study, research, and analysis, we’ve determined that approximately 50% – if not more – of the 938 people Tom follows on Instagram are hot female Instagram influencer model babe types who love to share revealing, provocative and "filthy" photos of their boobs, abs, and asses that would make any church deacon blush.

For example, one account Tom follows is "mybossgirls" – a popular feed that features videos of women and their boobs happily bouncing around...

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5. Weather Fight! Aaron Tuttle launches smear campaign on “Weather Watch Oklahoma” Guy!
Date: 1/23/24

I guess Michael’s attempt to downplay the severity of yesterday's icing got the attention of Aaron Tuttle.

He quickly bronzed up, downed some Muscle Milk, and – without mentioning Michael by name – went on the attack, questioning the guy’s credentials and even calling him a con man.

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4. Mystery Drone Pilot Tags Moore with Giant Rainbow Dildos…
Date: 1/11/24

Thanks to a tip via the Ogle Mole Network, we’ve learned that a mysterious drone pilot has gone on a devious rampage in the OKC suburb of Moore, using super-gripped suction cups to slap massive rainbow dildos around various gspots in the community.

So far, it appears the primary targets of this devious attack include the local Walmart and the intersection at 119th and Western. We currently have a team rushing to the Toby Keith water tower to see if it's been spared.

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3. Secretly recorded staff meeting reveals big problems at Paycom…
Date: 1/18/24

We acquired via the Ogle Mole Network a 23-minute-long audio recording of an all-hands-on-deck product department staff meeting led by Paycom CEO Chad Richison.

Taking place on January 9th, Richison told his product team that he’s “embarrassed” by the company’s software and that he’s canceling all of his 2024 ski trips because the only thing he wants to do in 2024 is “fix the product.”

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2. OKC Bro’s Outrageous “Satirical” Lie Goes Viral on TikTok…
Date: 2/23/24

Last night, I learned about Candace & Wesley "Nysm" – a married pair of social media attention seekers (a.k.a. influencers) who look like they're from Moore and have amassed a large following on the platform.

For the most part, their videos are typical and forgettable TikTok fare – quick hitters that capture the boring, mundane details of family life that some real-life humans who still watch American Idol find entertaining.

But that's not all!

Thanks to KOCO, we've learned they also dabble in a popular and lucrative topic that really gets the likes, engagements, and ad-sharing revenue flowing – making up sensational fabricated tales and then presenting them as truth!

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1. TLO unveils plans to build world’s second-largest skyscraper in Oklahoma City!
Date: 1/2/24

We have some very cool news to announce.

We’re building a giant skyscraper!

After consulting with local architects, developers, and, most importantly, PR professionals who told us it’s an easy way to generate publicity and earned media from the desperate local news media that will treat any far-fetched idea seriously, The Lost Ogle is proud to announce our plan to construct a $4-billion dollar, 2,500 foot TLO headquarters in downtown Oklahoma City just across the street from the OKC cockring.