The City of Moore is very happy to see you!
Thanks to a tip via the Ogle Mole Network, we’ve learned that a mysterious drone pilot has gone on a devious rampage in the OKC suburb of Moore, using super-gripped suction cups to slap massive rainbow dildos around various gspots in the community.
So far, it appears the primary targets of this devious attack include the local Walmart and the intersection at 119th and Western. We currently have a team rushing to the Toby Keith water tower to see if it's been spared.
Here are some pics a Mole sent me via Facebook:
Update: The Toby Keith water tower appears unscathed, but the other one was tagged...
The sneak attack has caught the city with its pants down, with shy and embarrassed city officials scrambling the Moore Purity Brigade (MPB) to remove and confiscate the dildos from city property for research purposes.
Walmart, on the other hand, put a greeter on a scissoring lift to remove the pleasure tool:
Although we’re usually the metro’s go-to authority on all things involving dildos and sex toys, I have no clue what’s going on here.
I checked with my Moles at Patricia’s to see if it’s part of some guerilla marketing campaign for a new location, but they had no comment. I’ve also confirmed that it’s not part of some tactic by Rainbow Bistro to shame the Moore LGBTQ community for not supporting the eatery.
Right now, the only thing we know is there’s some person flying a drone around Moore – here's video of the device – using suction cups to secure gigantic colorful dildos on things.
What a great time to be alive, huh?
If you know who this person is, please give them a high five and then send them downtown to get to work on the OKC Cock Ring. No drone will be required.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
