With the deadline to introduce new bills officially past, we’re now full throttle into OK Legipalooza 2024!
For those new to these parts, OK Legipalooza is the time of the year when Derplahoman lawmakers of all shapes, sizes, and low IQ levels introduce their usually unconstitutional right-wing fantasy laws to both impress and appease themselves, their colleagues and puppet masters, and most importantly, the moronic dimwit theocrats who vote for them.
The crazy bills these lawmakers introduce rarely become statutes, but they’re great at generating both local and national media attention for our state, and help contribute to the somewhat accurate negative perception of Oklahoma being a backwards, behind-the-times Kakistocracy that no person or business would want to voluntarily call home.
One regular on the OK Legipalooza center stage is Justin Humphrey from Southeastern Oklahoma.
Over the years, he’s introduced a wide variety of go-nowhere laws that help make our state a national laughingstock, like the one that would open a bigfoot hunting season or the one that would legalize elephant torture or the one that would ban nano-robot tracking devices from being secretly implanted in vaccines.
He’s also a leading member of the Oklahoma Game Fowl Association – a hodge podge group of rural rednecks, law enforcement officials, and militia members – that are working tirelessly to legalize cockfighting in Oklahoma.
Justin is not wasting any time making 2024 an especially special year for his stupidity.
He’s introduced a pair of bills that are generating a lot of publicity on social media and in the national press!
One of the bills – The Oklahoma Anti-Furry Act – would prohibit students “who purport to be an imaginary animal or animal species, or who engage in anthropomorphic behavior commonly referred to as furries” from participating in school curriculum or activities.
The law doesn’t have any provisions that exempt or exclude students who dress up as high school mascots.
If a student goes full furry at school, the bill has specific instructions that "The parent or guardian of a student in violation of this section shall pick the student up from the school, or animal control services shall be contacted to remove the student."
Humphrey has already admitted that the bill was sarcastic and that he's simply trying to "make a point."
Outside of him being a simple-minded buffoon who’s easily duped by hoaxes and has no business being a lawmaker, I’m not sure what point he was trying to make.
While The Oklahoma Anti-Furry Act is silly and whimsical, and likely projects Humphreys’ belief that Rumble is real, another bill he’s introduced is a bit more serious and racist.
Titled the “Only Hispanics Are Apparently Terrorists Act,” it would single out Hispanic gang members as terrorists.
Via NBC:
An Oklahoma bill has stirred controversy in the state Legislature for seeking to label Hispanic people who are gang members as terrorists. No other racial or ethnic group is singled out in the legislation.
The bill, written by Republican state Rep. Justin Humphrey, proposes that any person who “is of Hispanic descent living within the state of Oklahoma,” is a member of a gang and has been convicted of “gang-related offenses” would be deemed a terrorist.
For some reason, people in the Latino community were upset that only “Hispanic” gang members were getting the terrorist label.
I can see why.
From Chinese Pot Farmers to Bloods & Crips to the White Nationalist Irish Mafia Prison Gang to Rural Redneck Cockfighters to McCurtain County Officials Who Have Pre-dug Holes On The Ready To Bury Journalists, Oklahoma is home to a wide variety of gangs and organized crime members!
Outside of blatant racism against Hispanics, why did they not get the terrorism label? At the very least, you'd think that Humphreys – a guy who's equated the Black Lives Matter movement to the KKK – would target other minorities.
I guess Humphrey’s didn’t think that part through, so he issued a non-apology apology and said he’d update the law:
News 4 asked Rep. Humphrey why Hispanics were the only ethnic group listed in the bill. He claims there was no ill intention with doing so.
“I apologize for just using the word Hispanic, but I was not wrong. Again, these are Hispanic. Reality is they are Hispanic. There’s nothing to be ashamed with,” said Rep. Humphrey.
Rep. Humphrey plans to change the language from ‘Hispanic’ to ‘undocumented illegals’ in the bill.
That’s better. He’s not going to target those pesky “Hispanics,” but all “undocumented illegals.” I guess it’s nice to see Humphreys learned his lesson, and is making his racism more vague.
Sadly, Humphrey isn't the only Derplahoma lawmaker taking the main stage at OK Legipalooza 2024.
Some of our other State Reps and Senators have also been hard at work introducing bizarre bills that make Oklahoma look like the dumbest place on earth. We’ll make sure to cover some of those bills, and the Derlahoman idiots behind them, next week.
Until then, stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
