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Oklahoma Lawmaker Proposes Bigfoot Hunting Season…

3:11 PM EST on January 20, 2021

Expect Slim Jim sales in Oklahoma to skyrocket.

In an effort to improve our state's growing "mythical beast" hunting industry, Oklahoma lawmaker Justin Humphrey – one of the Top 10 Derplahoman politicians of the 2010s – has introduced a bill that will direct the Oklahoma Wildlife Conservation Commission to "promulgate rules establishing a bigfoot hunting season."

Check out this glorious madness:

That may seem absurd, but Oklahoma is actually a hotbed for bigfoot sightings. There was once a reality show dedicated to finding the fictitious beast in our state, and in 2013, some guy was accidentally shot while hunting bigfoot near Tulsa, so maybe we do need some regulations for those who happen to catch this creature that doesn't exist. At the very least, we'll make some money off whackos looking for a little bit of action in their life.

My only question is why stop with bigfoot? We should have hunting seasons for unicorns, dragons and even the Lake Thunderbird Octopus. And what middle school bully wouldn't want to dupe some Cub Scout into applying for a snipe hunting license? The options are endless.

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