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Lawmaker loves his cockfighting…

11:06 AM EDT on April 8, 2022

Oklahoma lawmaker Justin Humphrey – The Grand Wizard of the Derplahoman Party – is up to his old animal-hating tricks!

Not content just being the guy who wanted to introduce a bigfoot hunting season or legalize elephant torture, he's the sponsor of the Oklahoma Cockfighter Protection Act, and is trying to work it through the State House.

Here are details from the Norman Transcript:

State Rep. Justin Humphrey said he’s leading “a little chicken resurrection” as he attempts to get a bill through the Legislature that would reduce Oklahoma’s cockfighting penalties from felonies to misdemeanors.

It also adds new fines of up to $2,000 for repeat offenders and redefines what constitutes a battle between roosters.

His Senate Bill 1522 also would require birds be fitted with artificial spurs, knives or gaffs to qualify as cockfighting.

I'm so old that I actually remember being one of the 565,000+ Oklahomans who voted to make Cockfighting a felony in 2002, so screw this guy for having the arrogance to try and overrule the will of the people! We voted to make cockfighting a felony and that's the way it should be!!!

Well, at least that's what I think. It's not like we had other options back in 2002. It was basically felony or bust. Here's what Humphrey had to say about his stupid bill:

Opponents called the proposal a terrible idea that would turn Oklahoma into a haven for cockfighting and accused Humphrey of colluding with individuals who are knowingly committing state and federal crimes.

Humphrey, R-Lane, said he’s absolutely colluding with cockfighters.

“I talk to them every day,” he said. “They’re part of my constituents. and I’m doing what I believe our District 19 constituents wish. We’re working on a bill that is right, and they’re (opponents) colluding with animal activists who’ve lost their mind.”

Yep, it's the "animal activists" who have lost their minds. Not the Joe Exotic of Oklahoma lawmakers who thinks vaccines contain nanorobots, and is introducing legislation to help out the cockfighting industry.

"But Patrick! Cockfighting is an ancient tradition that's been practiced for thousands of years by a variety of cultures! Just because you don't like or understand it, doesn't mean other people can't enjoy it. It's a southern way of life!"

I guess if we're playing cockfighter's advocate, that's a fair point. I'm always going to think cockfighting is a cruel and unnecessary sport in today's day and age, but I guess the kids who lit bugs on fire and smashed toads with rocks in grade school do need new activities once they reach adulthood.

Plus, who am I to judge? I eat chicken all the time, and I think we know how cruel and barbaric that industry is. Maybe Humphreys should introduce an amendment that reduces cockfighting penalties only if the participants eat the bird afterward?

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