Last night, municipal elections were held throughout Oklahoma, allowing old people, left-wing weirdos, right-wing religious zealots, and a few normal people who care the opportunity to decide what people and policies will govern us at the most local government level.
As a public service to our valuable readers and more valuable subscribers, I combed through last night's election results, and thought it would be easy and clickable to provide a quick-hitting list of the some of more notable and relevant results you should know about.
Here you go…
1. JoBeth Hamon zooms by Marek Cornett in Ward 6 battle…
In the most watched council race in the OKC metro, incumbent socialist capitalism-hater JoBeth Hamon cruised past challenger Marek Cornett in the bike lane by a 55 to 45 margin, ensuring the leftwing activist-types in the metro will have a voice in city hall for another four years.
It’s a statement victory for JoBeth, who overcame a likable, well-funded-for-a-council-race opponent, and will now get to continue to irritate the local ruling class with her compassion, leftist leanings values, and basic existence.
On that note, I’d like to offer my condolences to Marek Cornett. I’ve known her since the dawn of the social media age, and as I’ve written on this site in the past, she’s a friend and one of the nicest people I know. She put up a good fight, and although I feel bad for her, I’m happy that she at least won’t have to work a selfless, shitty, low-paying job for the next four years.
2. Enid voters elect White Nationalist to City Council…
That’s surprising. Most people I know who live in Yukon are looking for the fastest way to get out of Yukon, so you'd think improving the streets that lead out of town would be a priority.
6. One loser in Allen votes against city proposition
I have no clue where Allen, Oklahoma is located. I also have no clue what city proposition was on the ballot. The only thing I know is one loser obstructionist voted against it:
Yep. It looks like one person in town isn’t going to be invited to the church potluck this Sunday. If you know who this person is, please have him or her contact us. We’d like to give them the opportunity to explain why they went against the grain and voted against such a popular proposal.
7. Ronald Funck narrowly advances to fucking runoff in El Reno School Board Election
Out in the fertile grounds of El Reno, some guy named Ronald Funck finished second in a school board race by the closest margin possible, keeping a dream typo scenario alive for us.
I'll admit I know very little about Mr. Funck. He appears to be a man of mystery. That being said, he does look like his name should be Ronald Funck.
Hey El Reno Moles. We all need to do everything possible to get Mr. Funck elected. I'll get things started by endorsing Eric Palmer in the runoff. That will probably do the trick.