Report: Ryan Walters Still Incessant Little Dickweed

Outside of the unbridled joy, exhilaration, and camaraderie it brought to our state and city, I’d say the coolest thing about the Thunder’s run to the NBA title is that it temporarily shut up Ryan Walters.

Sure, I guess it could be a coincidence – maybe Ryan and his Texan puppet masters took a brief summer vacation to recharge the batteries and skin Dalmatians before his assumed gubernatorial run – but while Everything Thunder was dominating social media algorithms and our state’s attention, Ryan, for the most part, went radio silent and was as well behaved as an honors student in study hall.

Well, so much for that!

As we mentioned on Monday, Ryan is back on the scene like a manic episode, doing and saying everything possible to troll the sane, indulge the insane, and blow out every one of our cognitive membranes in a desperate attempt to stay relevant, boost his diabolical brand, and keep people talking about him on social media.

First, he sent a SPAM email blast to Oklahoma parents that announced he’s demanding every school district in the state use their administrative budgets to provide FREE school meals to all students. He did this despite his demand being both impractical and unenforceable:

Yep, did you catch that? The guy who pays out-of-state staffers and PR firms excessive salaries so they can lie, mislead, and ride around on hot air balloons wants our school districts on the front lines to cut the wasteful spending fat and feed the kids. I’m not as smart as KFOR’s attorneys who just got paid $175,000 thanks to Ryan’s publicity stunts and sheer idiocy, but something tells me he’s being hypocritical.

Even though Ryan’s announcement was an obvious publicity stunt designed to endear himself to nutjob right-wing conservatives who can’t manage their own lives or finances but for some reason think they know how public school administrative staffing and budgeting should work, the local media helped amplify Ryan’s pie-in-the-sky announcement.

Anything for ratings, right?

I’m very aware the for-profit media is an easy-to-control tool. The beauty of propaganda and misinformation is it can spread in seconds, while unraveling it takes time, patience, and way more words than most people care to read. Still — can’t our media do a better job than just bending over and taking it like a customer at the Harbor Mountain Coffee Shop?

Instead of repeating his lies, they should be honest in their headlines like we are, at least go the KFOR or Tulsa World route and call into question his plan from the get-go:

Before anyone could take a bite of Ryan’s empty free lunch scheme, he quickly moved on to a different manufactured culture war topic to distort for attention and personal gain – woke out-of-state teachers!

Yep, no big deal. We just have Pol Pot Jr. over here calling for teachers to take ideological tests to see if they’re qualified to teach kids how to multiply fractions and identify Oklahoma on a map. Totally normal stuff for a free society. If it wasn't real life, it would be hysterical satire.

Anyway, I’ve exhausted all the mental energy I care to waste on this incessant little dickweed — which, I’m aware, is an insult to all other dickweeds — for today.

First of all, he’s really not worth the bandwidth.

Second, I have to save material for his next publicity stunt. Seriously, I wonder what he’s going to do next? Replace School Resource Officers with I.C.E. Agents? Rename all public schools after Confederate generals? Call for the destruction of all Doppler radars?

Whatever it is, we’ll be here to reluctantly cover it and call the guy a dickweed.

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.