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Report: Ryan Walters Still Incessant Little Dickweed

11:49 AM EDT on July 10, 2025

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Outside of the unbridled joy, exhilaration, and camaraderie it brought to our state and city, I’d say the coolest thing about the Thunder’s run to the NBA title is that it temporarily shut up Ryan Walters.

Sure, I guess it could be a coincidence – maybe Ryan and his Texan puppet masters took a brief summer vacation to recharge the batteries and skin Dalmatians before his assumed gubernatorial run – but while Everything Thunder was dominating social media algorithms and our state’s attention, Ryan, for the most part, went radio silent and was as well behaved as an honors student in study hall.

Well, so much for that!