Thanks to the Ogle Mole Network, we've learned that Oklahoma's favorite redneck country musician, Toby Keith, along with his wife, Tricia, will be throwing a $2,900-a-cowboy-hat fundraising hootenanny for Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt.
According to the invite, the event will take place on Wednesday, June 22nd from 6:30pm - 7:30pm at Toby and Tricia's personal residence, which I believe is located deep inside the Moore water tower.
Wow. $2,900 to drink Natty Lites out of red Solo cups with Kevin Stitt and Toby Keith and, I assume, Barry Switzer. I guess that's what it costs to rub shoulders with Oklahoma's redneck ruling elite. I wonder if they'll also line dance to White Trash With Money.
If you're hoping that prices for this exclusive fundraiser will drop, well, your Hope Is On The Rocks! According to an email that accompanied the invite, the event is limited to 150 guests, and organizers totally expect rich people to drop money on it like bombs over Iraq.
For giggles, I did a quick Google search on Millan Hupp and Tamara Cornell to see if they're hot and, naturally, I learned they're both former cronies of former Oklahoma Attorney General / former EPA Chief / current fledgling US Senate Candidate Scott Pruitt. I wonder if that means Scott will be there trying to collect any loose campaign change?
Anyway, I guess it makes sense that Toby Keith would host a fundraiser for Kevin Stitt. Most of Toby's songs are about getting drunk, and you'd have to be extra-hammered to donate $2,900 to a mega-millionaire politician's campaign, especially when he's an overwhelming favorite to be reelected.
Then again, who are we kidding? I seriously doubt people are donating to Stitt's campaign to help his reelection chances. They just want to secure cushy state government contracts and money during his next term! In fact, maybe Toby Keith read the following snippet in our list of 10 Possible Replacements for Swadley's Foggy Bottom Kitchen and figured it was time to act:
If any Moles attend this event, please send us photos of Toby and Kevin playing flip-cup, or of Carly Atchison being Too Drunk To Karaoke.