Before we embark on Memorial Day holiday break, I want to break some important news that the local media is apparently ignoring.
Thanks to a tip via the Ogle Mole Network, we have learned that demolition has officially commenced inside the Turner Turnpike Vagina – the iconic almond-shaped divide of I-44 located just outside Oklahoma City that has been giving people giggles for generations.
You know, this thing:
I’m not an engineer, highway planner, or gynecologist, but when this was being built, how did nobody in the meeting step up and say, “Uhm, doesn’t this look like a giant vagina?” Then again, maybe that was the whole point. Perhaps OTA secretly hired Georgia O’Keeffe as a consultant.
Anyway, according to a rather crude email we received via the Ogle Mole Network, the Vagina’s days are numbered…
It’s been a minute since I’ve been on the Turner, so, being the hard-hitting investigative reporter that I am, I tossed on the raincoat and galoshes and drove out to the area earlier today to investigate.
I can officially confirm with my own eyes that, yes, it looks like the Turner Turnpike Vagina – which has for years welcomed weary travelers along our interstate to our apparently very open town – is very much in the process of being demolished as part of the three-lane widening project for the entire stretch of highway.
Check out this Pulitzer-worthy photo:
In hindsight, trying to take pictures while driving through a monsoon probably wasn't the best idea, but oh well, at least I got to enjoy some BBQ from the Butcher BBQ stand, right?
Actually I didn’t. They’re closed on Thursday. I really need to learn how to plan this journalism stuff out better.
Anyway, now that the Turner Turnpike Vagina is being destroyed, I guess it joins Midway, the Phillips 66 gas stations, and the Stroud Outlet Mall as beloved turnpike relics lost to time, progress, and whatever the hell OTA is doing.
It also means the OKC Cock Ring is now the most prominent and visible form of erotica in the state.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
