To all my pizza-patrons…forgive me!
Forgive me for the sins, transgressions, and the truly fucked-up things I have said about spaghetti, linguini, ravioli, and, of course, the most Anglicized of all these Italian delicacies, the typical American pizza pie.
You see, I have had a semi-hard lifetime of cheap frozen pizzas—like Totino’s, Jack’s and whatever factory refuse has been served up to me—and all my barbs and snips against the fake-spicy foodstuff has turned me into a real shitkicker against most pre-made pies.