Word to the wise — if you owe MaryAnne Roughface a beer, you better pay her back… or face the consequences.”
No, that’s not the teaser to a sequel for the Garbage Pail Kids Movie, nor is it the plot to a alcohol-fueled parody of Kill Bill — those are real-life words being uttered right now on the mean streets of Lawton, where MaryAnne Roughface — the person who may have the most painfully accurate name in the history of human civilization — was arrested for trying to stab a woman who owed her a beer.
Here’s a graphic that Lawton’s KSWO put together about her arrest:
Yep, that’s right. MaryAnne Roughface. Pretty amazing, huh? The only thing that could have made this story better is if her getaway driver were Keith Stone:
As someone who’s been following and exploiting the Oklahoma mugshot beat for almost 20 years now, I’d say that MaryAnne Roughface may have the best mugshot/name combination this state has ever seen.
You have to admit it’s not every day that someone with both the name and mugshot of a Dick Tracy villain makes the local news!
At the very least, it’s probably the most ironically amusing arrest we’ve had since Badlands McNally was nabbed for drug trafficking in 2021.
I like both names — Badlands is a little bit country, while Roughface is a little more rock ‘n’ roll — but MaryAnne’s mugshot takes things up a terrifying level.
Seriously, imagine her chasing you around a Ross "Dress for Less" with a sharp knife, mumbling about how you stole her Keystone, and the only thing between you is one of those shopping carts with the long pole! Her victim will have night terrors for years.
Although I don't think face tattoos are ever a good idea, I do enjoy MaryAnne's facial ink, especially the third eye. Who knows? Maybe she’s a Tool fan... or trying to see into my soul.
Either way, we’ve seen a lot of good face-tattoo canvases over the years, and I’d say she’s only a demon horn or two away from topping Darth Tulsan in that regard. He’s the guy who haunted the dreams of many and actually tried to run over his landlord with a van:
Anyway, all joking aside, I really hope MaryAnne gets the help — mental health and addiction treatment — that she needs.
Sure, we live in Oklahoma, so that sadly won’t happen, but it would be nice to see her make that rough face happy… or at least a little less stabby.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
