Let the playground taunts begin!
Despite working extra hard over the last couple of weeks to get Daddy Trump’s attention – even pulling master publicity stunts like his forced Trump prayer – Ryan Walters’s desperate attempt to be named U.S. Secretary of Education has failed.
Well, at least for now.
Last night, media reports leaked that Trump has chosen a more qualified, wealthy, and successful candidate to help him dismantle the agency – former WWE CEO Linda McMahon.
Yep, that’s right. Trump picked someone from WWE – the most popular sports league among the high school dropout crowd – to lead and destroy the Department of Education. In today’s idiocracy – where a reality-show businessman who couldn’t even make money in the casino business gets elected president twice – I guess that tracks.
Obviously, I’m not surprised by the news.
If you vividly recall and remember everything I write – which you should – I speculated last week that Trump would go with some crazy rich person over a middle-class Evangelical guy driving around Oklahoma in a Chevy Traverse complaining about "the wokes" in video vlogs.
Still, it’ll be interesting to see if Ryan can eventually land the Secretary of Education gig.
I don’t think he’s rich, powerful, or polished enough to get it, but it’s pretty obvious that even being in the discussion has lit a fire under Ryan, jolting the Christian Nationalist as if he just chugged a triple latte from Harbor Mountain Coffee House.
Even though he really wanted the job, Ryan is taking the news in brown-nosed stride.
He tweeted this congratulatory note late last night:
Although he’s putting on a happy social media face, you know this had to bother Ryan and his puppet master, Matt Langston. I’d bet he went out to his backyard and smashed a couple of tennis rackets against the side of his house – or maybe called in fake bomb threats to schools over library books – to blow off steam.
If that’s the case, I’d implore Ryan to calm down.
A long time ago, I was passed over for what I thought at the time was a cool job with a Tulsa PR firm. Instead, they went with the guy who would later go on to create Sellout Crowd!
In the moment, I was kind of irritated – Really? They hired Mike Koehler over me? – but in the long run, it worked out well for both of us. I focused more on TLO and built it into what it’s become, while Koehler – after about a year on the job – left, started his own social media company, and eventually created one of the biggest media failures in Oklahoma history. Kumbaya.
Anyway, what I’m saying is Ryan should keep his head up and not get too upset – unless he spots a couple of Harbor Mountain Coffee House cups on his table.
This may lead to more opportunities down the road. Hell, knowing Trump and his penchant for firing people, one of those opportunities might be to lead the U.S. Department of Education someday.
But, alas, that’s future thinking.
In the meantime, Oklahoma is stuck with a right-wing pandering, self-fellating edge lord who cares more about promoting himself and fighting manufactured conservative agendas than doing what’s best for Oklahoma kids. I’m sure it will continue to be entertaining – and infuriating – to cover.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
