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Breaking News: Kevin Stitt is also a Swiftie!!!

9:04 AM EDT on April 3, 2023

This past weekend, approximately 87% of all white Oklahoma women under the age of 40 organized their friendship bracelets, polished their sequins and gathered up their squad, and flocked down to DFW for one of the three big Taylor Swift concerts at AT&T Stadium.  

I know this thanks to social media. 

In addition to that very specific demographic of women, 100% of white Oklahoma conservative Governors made the trek to DFW, too!

I also know this thanks to social media.

Yep, just like Ryan Walters – his partner in destroying public education in Oklahoma crime – Kevin Stitt is also Swiftie!

Well, maybe. 

Let’s be honest.

As a guy who spent most of my weekend dancing in my living room to Trolls music videos, I think Stitt’s attendance at the concert shows the lengths men of all ages and political persuasions will go to make their daughters happy more than anything else. 

That being said, Stitt looks about as happy to be at a Taylor Swift concert as Ryan Walters does at an Oklahoma Teacher of the Year ceremony!

On the topic of Ryan Walters, I wonder if he tagged along with Stitt to the show? Remember, he's a certified Swiftie!

If Ryan got his Swift on this weekend, I bet he wore a disguise so he wouldn’t be spotted and promptly tarred and sequined by any of the Oklahoma teachers at the show who knew him.

If we learn on social media that someone at the concert was passing out friendship bracelets that say things like “Fund Students Not Systems,” “Ban Porn In Schools” and “Remove All Kitty Litter From Oklahoma High School Bathrooms,” I think we’ll know the answer. 

Quick aside for all older readers…

Last week, I was at the Cock-O-The–Walk for some Hoot Trivia. After the match concluded, two 20-something women wearing red scrubs took a seat at the bar and pulled out a massive friendship bracelet kit.

Curious, and always looking for an excuse to talk to women at bars, I asked what they were doing, and learned they were making friendship bracelets for the Taylor Swift concert. I guess part of the Swift schtick is people exchanging friendship bracelets at her shows. 

Anyway, I requested they make me my own personal friendship bracelet and – probably in an effort to get me to leave them alone – they happily obliged:

And that explains why I’ve made multiple friendship bracelet references in this article. The aside is now concluded.

Anyway, on that note, hopefully Kevin or Carly Atchison or even Ryan Walters shared some of the friendship bracelets – or as they probably call them, "liberal indoctrinator enemy adornments" – they received at the show on social media. 

When they do, we’ll share them here. 

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.

Thanks for reading!

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