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Oklahoma State Fair offering free child registrations…

6:17 AM EDT on September 19, 2022

The first weekend of the Oklahoma State Fair is officially in the books!

Outside of a few people succumbing to the Oklahoma heat, it appears things went off without a hitch, with no emergency baby deliveries, stabbings, or wild carnie attacks being reported.

Despite this lack of negative attention, State Fair officials still want to trick all helicopter and bulldozer parents into believing the State Fair is a nice, safe place for good family fun. In fact, they'll even register your child for you in the name of safety!

Via KFOR:

The Oklahoma State Fair is taking extra safety measures to make sure you and your kids are safe.

You can register your child at one of the event information booths.

There they will provide a wristband for your child that has your contact information on it.

Yep. You can officially register your child at the fair. There's no word if this automatically enters them in the State Fair's first-ever "Blue Ribbon Human Child Competition."

On one hand, I appreciate what the State Fair is trying to do here. It's the Mos Eisley Spaceport of Oklahoma events, so from an optical "safety theatre" perspective, it probably looks good for them to show they kind of care about your kid's safety.

That being said, this seems like it may cause more problems than it solves. What sane parent with teeth would want their kid running around the Midway wearing a wristband with all of their personal information on it? The people who run the fair have actually been to the fair, right?

Here's more:

The Oklahoma City Police Department, Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Office and extra security are also present throughout the fair grounds.

“If you happen to get separated, they’ll be able to look at that band and call you and reunite you with your kid, hopefully out in the field. Or if they have to take them to the safety center, they will if it takes a while for that process to unfold… That is our command center for chaplains,” said Scott Munz, Oklahoma State Fair spokesman.

First of all, the State Fair has a "Command Center for Chaplains???" I was today year's old when I learned that! Like, I know a lot of people at the fair could use our thoughts and prayers, but that seems a bit overboard. You know, kind of like registering your child when they enter the fair.

Seriously, I'm old enough to remember the good old days when parents would just drop their kids off at the front gates of the State Fair and hope for the best, assuming their kids would either A) return home safe or B) end up joining a traveling band of carnies. Now kids have to be registered and ear-clipped like a baby goat in the 4H competition! What's next? Having someone from the government inspect the rides and food for safety?

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.

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