Anyone who has lived in Oklahoma for any significant amount of time understands the gravity of the term “storm season.” We take it seriously and for good reason. All of us have story after story of where we were the last time Oklahoma faced the brunt of Mother Nature’s wrath.
As a result, a well-organized weather-preparedness plan is a must have for any Oklahoman, but it can be hard to know what you really need to do should the storms come a’blowin in your neighborhood. With the potential for severe weather tomorrow, we thought now is as good a time as any to do a quick refresher...
Be Ready for the Storm
Print off copies of your Severe Storm Bingo now and store them with your NOAA Wind Up Weather Radio. Do it now or risk the power going out before you manage to get the printer up and going.
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Clothes
It is recommended you keep a change of clothes for each member of your family in a large ziploc bag. We believe this should include at least one tuxedo t-shirt, in case of spontaneous News 9 interview. You’ll need to look your best in case that soundbite is picked up by the national outlets.
If you really want to gussy it up, grab a Mike Morgan sparkly tie and toss that in as well.
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Practice Post-Tornado Talking Points
You're going to need to have a few go-tos ready for that potential interview. That tuxedo tee may get you in front of the camera but if you want to be the next Sweet Brown or Michelle Dobyn, you are going to need something a little more than the old standards of "sounded like a freight train" and "I just can't believe it." Practice now so you are ready for that viral video and autotune remix.
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Food
Storm prep is a great excuse to swing by Braum’s; not that we need an excuse. Grab a couple of gallons of milk, and maybe a few of those new ice cream flavors. And some cookies. And maybe a burger. And a brick of Braum’s chili. Drink the best milk available in the metro and then reuse the cartons to store potable water.
On top of protein bars and non-perishable items, be sure to include a few shot glasses and your liquor of choice. If you are gonna be stuck in the shelter for a bit, might as well play a few rounds of Meteorological Drinking Game.
In case of a prolonged power outage, you can swing by the liquor store and pick up some decent cold beer. A continuous stream of these can help keep your refrigerator cool until power is restored.
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Shelter
Now is a fantastic time to go sweep out your storm shelter. All the bugs and cobwebs that have taken up residence since last May make for a great chance to catalogue some of Oklahoma’s fine insect species.
Plywood for your windows is a fantastic blockade against blowing debris, branches, and the occasional flying barnyard animal. It might save a window and, if the worst should happen, is the first line defense against looters. Pre-spray encouraging and entertaining messages on your plywood.
- Dorothy, you missed. This ain’t Kansas.
- For Sale: As Is
- Sorry for the mess! CBD+ Location coming at this site soon!
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Take this severe weather stuff seriously
We may mercilessly tease Mike, David & Damon about drawing dicks on screen and getting really excited about their jobs, but all joking aside, take this seriously. Assholes like us use jokes to try to relieve the tension but please do double check your severe weather kit and make sure you're ready for this storm season. Locate your weather radio. Pay attention to risks and advice. Seek shelter when needed. Don't hide under overpasses if you're caught out on the road. Be safe and be smart.
P.s. – Ready.Gov has a pretty comprehensive list of real things you should include in your storm kit. That is an excellent place to start.
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