Spring is in the air, which means a lot of things –patio season, tornadoes, and your Instagram feed filling up with your friend's cheesy wedding photography where they're awkwardly posing in a public park somewhere.
It also means the eleventh edition of Ogle Madness, where you, the dear reader, will choose who is the greatest, uh, Oklahoman? The winner will join our hallowed pantheon with other former champions like Russell Westbrook, that other player who we don't like anymore, Gary England, Lacey Swope, Emily Sutton and even something called a Lauren Richardson. Basically, if you're an NBA star or a television meteorologist, the odds are pretty stacked in your favor.
With that tip in mind, we're running a bracket contest. Fill out your official Ogle Madness XI and email it OgleMadness@gmail.com by 11:59pm tonight for your chance to win a $250 feast for you and your friends to Fassler Hall. Maybe you can convince the champion to join you for dinner, but we highly discourage referring to it as a "sausage party."
Today, we'll be going through the East Region. First, we'll start with the Upper Bracket. Let's check out the match-ups:
(1) Panhandling Teacher vs (16) Oklahoma Lawmakers
(8) Mick Cornett vs (9) Todd Lamb
(4) Weather Dongs vs (13) Kirk Humphreys
(5) Quail Creek Fuck and Float vs (12) Mary Fallin
The first match-up is pretty juicy. We're likely to see these two face off in real life pretty soon, so let's see if we can predict the winner!
Vote after the jump!
(1) Panhandling Teacher
Who: Someone whose classroom doesn't have school supplies
Biggest Strength: The only panhandler most people will tolerate
Biggest Weakness: Can't afford a box of Crayolas
-
(16) Oklahoma Lawmakers
Who: People we elected yet really dislike
Biggest Strength: Wasting time and money by writing unconstitutional bills
Biggest Weakness: Only listens to the oil industry
-
-
(8) Mick Cornett
Who: Outgoing OKC mayor / current gubernatorial candidate
Biggest Strength: Convincing Oklahomans to vote for large-scale infrastructure projects
Biggest Weakness: Only eats the "healthy" stuff at Taco Bell
-
(9) Todd Lamb
Who: Lt. Governor amd current gubernatorial candidate
Biggest Strength: Traditional Oklahoma Republican, friends with Larry Nichols
Biggest Weakness: Really boring
-
-
(4) Weather Dongs
Who: Meteorological phenomenon of the phallic kind
Biggest Strength: Never not funny
Biggest Weakness: Can't keep it up long enough
-
(13) Kirk Humphreys
Who: Sexist/homophobic former OKC mayor
Biggest Strength: Has never had to make a sandwich for himself
Biggest Weakness: Bad at apologies
-
-
(5) Quail Creek Fuck and Float
Who: Unfortunately typefaced flier
Biggest Strength: Great idea for a Pornhub search query
Biggest Weakness: False advertising
-
(12) Mary Fallin
Who: Current Governor of Oklahoma
Biggest Strength: Friends with the president
Biggest Weakness: Can't pass a successful budget to save her life
-
