We've finally reached that stage in the Sweet Home Oklahoma relationship where we get to meet the kids. Just like IRL, it's pretty damn awkward.
The 4th episode of Sweet Home Oklahoma, titled "Sippy Cup Runneth Over," begins with Toots or Pumps (a.k.a. The Loud One) ordering her teenage kids around the house to do chores. They argue over unloading the dishwasher, making juice, and who gets the most reality camera time. You know, typical family stuff.
For the most part, the teens seem all-too-aware of their weird mom, the TV cameras, and what it will all do to their social life at school. I guess you can't blame them. We soon learn that Pumps only lets them drink from sippy cups:
From there, we're transported to the parallel subplot of Blonde #1's house. She challenges her manchild ex-husband Josh to do household chores. They then work on a honey-do list of manly things Josh can do, like change air filters, "powder" the bathroom, and I think patch up that hole in the wall of the garage that he used to hide all of his cocaine. Once again, typical family stuff.
From there, the ladies of Sweet Home Oklahoma go to Sophabella's for dinner. In typical Sophabella's fashion, they appear to be the only people there. I guess the Sweet Home Oklahoma cast still haven't heard of Vito's. At Sophabellas, we learn that Pumps, who for some reason isn't drinking an iced tea, doesn't wear underwear. Great image, huh? Blonde #1 and Blonde #2 then confront Pumps about making her teenage kids drink out of sippy cups. We're then greeted by commercials.
When we come back, Pumps is making her kids waffles. She chews out her nearly 16-year-old son Sam for not being responsible and calling his school, apparently forgetting that he still drinks out of sippy cups. We then spend two minutes listening to Pumps complain about her parental skills.
Blonde #2 rides her bike over to Blonde #1's house to help Josh with his chores. We get to see he's about as worthless as his man bun. They burn the honey-do list and send a pic to Blonde #1! The gals of Sweet Home Oklahoma sure are wild and crazy!
We go back to Pump's house where the girls are now drinking wine and examining the spots in the house where dogs defecate. Blonde #1 and Blonde #2 have a sippy cup, or as Josh would call it – Tommy Tippy Cup – intervention and throw all the sippy cups away. Pumps acts mad about it for the cameras. We're then treated to the best part of the show – another commercial.
When we come back, Blonde #1 is mad that Josh didn't do his chores, so she brings out her hardworking handyman "CJ" – a man's man who looks like he's closed down Twin Peaks a time or two – to teach Josh how to do things like pull weeds and change doorknobs.
Josh acts incompetent and clueless and goofs around hoping it will get him out of the work, a move I mastered when "helping" my grandpa fix his rent houses. It works.
Back in the Land of Pumps, her kids are pissed that they don't have any sippy cups. Apparently Pumps' daughter couldn't figure out how real cups work and spilled Kool-Aid over herself. This infuriates Pumps, who then magically morphs into the Kool-Aid man, busts through a brick wall, and runs down the street of Nichols Hills screaming "Oh Yeah."
Okay, not really. That would have been fun and entertaining, something that seems to be missing with this show.
Episode 3 ends with Pumps and her mom going to something called Green Bambino to buy new sippy cups for her family. They buy eight of them – two for each kid, and one for each hour of school bullying they're all set to endure. Once again, the gals of Sweet Home Oklahoma sure are wild and crazy!
Next Week: Blonde #1 and Blonde #2 plant an ugly tree.