You know, it’s one thing to go to the Great State Fair of Oklahoma and enjoy an Indian Taco or a Giant Turkey Leg. It’s alright to fancy a tall lemonade and revel in a super-long corndog. Heck, I’ll even give you the okay to share a funnel cake with some whipped cream and strawberries on top with your fellow Midway-minions and TNT Building piss-trough pals.
But…there are certain culinary domains full of food-based evils man was not designed to tamper with, egregious snacks that were sacrilegiously designed to not only tempt the apparition of Death himself, but taunt him outright to his pale white skeleton face, bloatedly daring him—begging him—to reach deep into our tightening chests and squeeze every ounce of la vida loca from our enlarged, clogged hearts.