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Redditor offers to drive people around OKC to hunt Pokémon…

8:29 AM EDT on July 27, 2016

As I recently mentioned, I made the plunge into Pokémon GO earlier this month. After spending a few weeks half-assedly playing the game, I've grown into a level 6 trainer and certified member of Team Valor.

pokemon patrick

Once again, I make for one good-looking, blue-haired, cartoon lesbian, don’t I? Now I know why Louis asked me to autograph that KD Lang "Constant Craving" cassette single he bought from Camelot Music in 1992.

Although I understand the fundamental basics of Pokémon GO, I still don't know what I'm doing. I've never been to a Pokémon gym, and until this past weekend, I had no clue that eggs and incubators were things. Hell, I didn't even know that Pokémon can evolve and escape from all those stupid balls you throw at them. I guess having friends who have kids finally paid off. They make great tutors.

I also have no clue how catching Pokémon really works. There were a ton in the Plaza District on Saturday night, but I generally just stumble across the creatures while walking the dog through my Pidgey and Rattata infested neighborhood. Are you supposed to hunt them? How do you know where to look? Maybe instead of figuring this out on my own, I should up my game and hire this dude from OKC Reddit to assist me:

pokemon go reddit

Wow! That's awesome. For the bargain price of only $25, some guy you never met will drive you around town in a big white van and help you hunt imaginary creatures with your phone! Who other than a normal person would turn that down? I wonder if he'll have mints in the cup holders like a good Uber driver.

You may be wondering how I know that "Vanderpool 5" is using a big white van for his Reddit Pokémon hunting adventures. Truth is, I don't. I just put two and two together after seeing this tweet from my brother from another mother, Mr. Casey Cornett:

Anyway, here's a link to the Reddit post. If you're more ballsy and less self-aware than I am, hit the guy up. Best case scenario, you find a lot of Pokémon. Worst case scenario, somebody stumbles across your body while playing Pokémon GO. Either way, let us know. Although I feel like a tool while doing, I want to find more Pokémon.

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