Modern liquor laws may be coming to Oklahoma!!!
12:50 PM EDT on September 16, 2015
Can Gary England check the weather in Hell? It may be freezing over.
According to an article in the Tulsa World, The Retail Liquor Association of Oklahoma has announced it finally supports the modernization of Oklahoma's dated and antiquated liquor laws. If passed, 3.2% horse piss will be a thing of the past and liquor stores, gas stations and grocery stores can carry wine, refrigerated high-point beer and Bloody Mary mix.
Via The Tulsa World:
Liquor store retailers reached a major decision Tuesday that will likely lead to a vote for cold beer in Oklahoma liquor stores and strong beer and wine available at convenience and grocery stores.The Retail Liquor Association of Oklahoma announced its support of proposed legislation to modernize Oklahoma liquor stores to join 45 other states that allow "single-strength refrigerated beer" statewide."What it means is maybe — just maybe — prohibition is going to be over in Oklahoma," said Mike Thornbrugh, spokesman for QuikTrip.
Wow. That's awesome! Getting the Retail Liquor Association to support this thing is a big deal. They've been doing everything in their power to block modernization of our state's liquor laws for some time. I wonder what happened?
Here are more details:
Thornbrugh said the vote likely won't reach voters until November 2016, and it will first face a legislative vote to get on the ballot.
But now that the RLAO supports it, Thornbrugh said the state constitutional change will go before voters either through a legislative vote or, due to its popularity, through an initiative petition of the people...
Great, it has to go before a vote of the people. I knew there was a catch. God forbid our lawmakers actually do their job and pass laws that make sense. I bet as you're reading this, our state's church leaders and members of the Derplahoman caucus are having a secret meeting at some cave in Falls Creek to develop a plan to defeat this. Remember, government regulation is bad... unless it forces their moral code upon everyone.
Here are the proposed changes the RLAO supports:
• Move to single-strength refrigerated beer statewide (good!)
• Wine available in select grocery stores (awesome!)
• Items other than alcohol sold at retail package stores (nice!)
• Alcohol delivered to a customer's home (swell!)
• Product samplings inside retail package stores (yummy!)
• Accompanied children allowed in Oklahoma liquor stores (Eh, no kids is the one benefit of going to the liquor store)
• Liquor stores open on Independence Day, Memorial Day and Labor Day (No fucking way!)
• Growlers filled and sold at Oklahoma liquor stores (Grrrrreat!)
I don't know about you, but as a Level 2 alcoholic, all this sounds too good to be true. I'll believe it when I'm buying an Ogletoberfest at Buy For Less. Wine in grocery stores, liquor stores opened on certain holidays? That just feels too good to be true!
Also, would it be too greedy to ask that liquor stores stay open on Sunday, too? That also benefits liquor stores. We might as well go all in while we have a chance. We don't want to wait for Hell to freeze over again, do we?