Skip to Content
Everything Else

Confederates, Babies and Boo Boos: Obama in Oklahoma Recap, Day One


As you know, President Obama stopped by Oklahoma yesterday as part of a two-day visit to inspect secret underground ACLU gay muslim terrorist cells that will be central in his plot to destroy American morals, values and civilization.

But that wasn't the only thing on his agenda.

He first visited the Choctaw Nation in Durant. In the same town where my 87-year-old grandfather grew up, graduated high school, and couldn't sit next to a black coworker on a bus, Obama gave a speech to a packed high school gymnasium and launched the ConnectHome initiative. It's a new program designed to bring high-speed broadband access to low-income households across the US.

That's kind of cool. The more people online, the better. Plus, it finally gets some good publicity for Oklahoma. Let's see what The New York Times had to say about it:

Oh, the Times didn't mention the ConnectHome thing at all. They just tweeted a pic of Confederate flag-waving Derplahomans to 18-million people. Man those moonshiners are annoying. They crash the party and hog the attention like Aaron Tuttle in a gladiator costume.

Oh well, at least we have the local media to cover the real news of the day...

Haha. Just kidding. You know they went straight for the low-hanging fruit. I don't blame them. I do it, too. Not only is it plentiful and delicious, but you guys eat it up. Sometimes it makes me feel guilty, like I'm feeding animals at Yellowstone or giving a family food stamps for dinner, but it's how the system works.

Anyway, the Confederate flag is a racist symbol, but I don't think everyone who flies it is a racist. I'd say a decent chunk of the people are naive and unfortunately grew up in a society and culture deeply rooted in poverty and institutional racism – a place where education isn't valued, and the people who know better leave town. You'd have better luck getting these folks to switch from a Baptist to a Methodist church than changing their minds on the flag. They really think it's a symbol of southern pride.

For example, check out some of the bat shit crazy stuff they said when the media tracked them down. I'd suggest reading it with this background music:

The Confederate flag followed President Barack Obama to Durant on Wednesday.

Or rather, it beat him there.

A Confederate flag rally — organizers insisted it was not a protest or demonstration — began at 8 a.m. It continued at several locations — they were asked to move more than once — through the afternoon.

“We are having a rally for the battle flag,” said Stephanie Edge of Hugo. “It is not a racial thing. It is not a protest.”

Yeah, it's not a racist thing at all. It's just a rally for a flag flown by American traitors. Also, I have to ask, do they do this every time a President visits Oklahoma, or only when a black one does?

Edge said the rally was organized through social media and that many of those attending did not know each other before Wednesday.

So, I checked out Stephanie Edge's Facebook page. Here's one of the "social media" posts:

ok confed flag

The comments cracked me up:

obama indonesia

Yep, send that wired man back to "indinesia," which I think may be a disease you can catch at Turner Falls. It's hard to believe someone as eloquent and well-spoken as that would be so anti-Obama, isn't it?

Alyssa Pollack, also of Hugo, said she understands why some people object to the Confederate flag, but she said it is an important part of history.

“Blacks, whites and Choctaws have died for that flag,” said Pollack.

Guys, they really do believe this shit. Considering they also probably think the world is 6,000 years old and Noah saved all the animals, that's not too surprising.

“Men, many generations ago, fought (for that) flag. They fought for freedoms,” said Edge.

Asked to define those freedoms, Pollack said, “Taxes. Religion. Freedom in general.”

Yeah, the rebels who fought to keep slavery were all about freedom. Once again, is anyone surprised that Oklahoma students always have some of the lowest test scores in the country? My favorite comment came via KFOR:

“I believe that it is a flag that should not come down. It is about history. It’s not about racism at all because both black men, as well as white men stood side by side. They fought together for the beliefs that they believed in. And this is our heritage,” said Stephanie.

I kind of want to laugh, but it's just too sad. This Confederate revisionist history stuff is like Santa Claus. It's a myth that families pass down from generation to generation to generation, only these people were never tipped off that it's all a fantasy. Seriously, "Stephanie" really thinks whites and blacks fought together in the Confederate States "for beliefs that they believed in?"

Check out this blurb from the

On this day in 1865, with the main Rebel armies facing long odds against must larger Union armies,the Confederacy, in a desperate measure,reluctantly approves the use of black troops.

The situation was bleak for the Confederates in the spring of 1865. The Yankees had captured large swaths of Southern territory, General William T. Sherman’s Union army was tearing through the Carolinas, and General Robert E. Lee was trying valiantly to hold the Confederate capital of Richmond, Virginia,against General Ulysses S. Grant’s growing force. Lee and Confederate President Jefferson Davis had only two options. One was for Lee to unite with General Joseph Johnston’s army in the Carolinas and use the combined force to take on Sherman and Grant one at a time. The other option was to arm slaves, the last source of fresh manpower in the Confederacy.

The idea of enlisting blacks had been debated for some time. Arming slaves was essentially a way of setting them free, since they could not realistically be sent back to plantations after they had fought. General Patrick Cleburne had suggested enlisting slaves a year before, but few in the Confederate leadership considered the proposal, since slavery was the foundation of Southern society. One politician asked, “What did we go to war for, if not to protect our property?” Another suggested, “If slaves will make good soldiers, our whole theory of slavery is wrong.”

Yeah, I'm sure all the black soldiers were fighting for those beliefs... "that they believed in."

Actually, I bet you can find a few circumstances where blacks fought for the south, but it was probably because A) they didn't really have a choice or B) they were this guy...


With the Confederate Flag stuff bringing our state more negative press, Governor Mary Fallin took the lead and issued the following the statement condemning the demonstrations:

“You know there are three branches of our government. You have the Supreme Court, you have the legislative branch and you have the people – the people and their ability to vote.”

Actually, Mary Fallin hasn't release any sort of statement condemning or criticizing the Confederate flag demonstrations. She also hasn't made an effort to inform the rest of the country that the opinions of a few idiots don't reflect the views or feelings of most Oklahomans. I guess only a Governor with guts, courage and a fundamental understanding of civics would do something like that.

But I don't want to be too critical of the Governor. She has to be loyal to the people who vote for her. Also, she did greet Obama at airport. Actions sometimes do speak louder than words:

Here's something for the members of the state GOP. On the same day Obama met with tribal leaders in Durant, he also shook hands with a pasty white girl who's biggest claim to fame is wearing a headdress! Once again, irony!

Actually, that's pretty awesome. Good old Hipster Boo Boo met the Commander in Chief. I bet Christina invited him out for whiskey cocktails at R&J Lounge followed by personal tour of her international art gallery with Desmond Mason. She'll do anything to rebel against her mom.

After taking pics with the Fallin family, Obama worked the crowd. As KFOR reported, he even held a baby:

obama baby

That's sweet. What a special moment for the baby and his/her family. I wonder what the KFOR commenters had to say:

obama fb3
obama fb 2

Would you look at that. Nice positive comments about the President of our country. You probably thought I was going to go with Derplahoman posts instead. I thought about it, but Obama still has another day to spend with us. I don't want to pick all the low hanging fruit just yet.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter