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The only band that’s hotter than Hell, KISS, is comin’ to Oklahoma City. They're opening up a Rock & Brews, their own rock and roll themed good-time eatery, in the former spot occupied by Dan O’Brien’s.
And to hear Simmons talk about the food, you'd better brace yourself."When you wrap your lips around one our Godzilla-sized burgers, and that's not easy to do, or one of our gluten-free pizzas or regular pizza, you're going to have a hard time going anywhere else," Simmons said.Simmons is particularly fond of laying one of the concept's signature beignets across his notoriously long tongue."It's a crispy little pastry about the size of a snowball, covered in powdered sugar and drizzled with raspberry sauce, and when you bite into it and your mouth is filled with chocolate sauce, it’s a good as sex," Simmons said...But Simmons said the experience is about more than food."You don't have to go to a restaurant to eat; you can eat at home," he said. "You want the whole experience. We're all social, all of us. You want to meet with friends or go on a date. It's about the vibe. When you’re walking into Rock & Brews you see classic rock, photos, videos, music playing. Music is all over the place. The stuff that you love — no Flock of Seagulls, no Men Without Hats. I don't say that disparagingly. I say it as a statement of fact: You won't hear those bands at Rock & Brews."
As a full-fledged member of the KISS Army, I’m always excited to partake in whatever table-scraps the band is willing to throw my way, even if it’s seeing them on four of their past five final retirement tours, or shelling out $$$ for yet another remastered edition of Destroyer. But now I actually get to eat the food that Simmons, a.k.a The Demon, and Paul Stanley, a.k.a The Starchild, have meticulously woven together for public consumption? That’s even better than a live-stage reading of Music from the Elder!
While I will have no problem struttin’ on down to Memorial Road at least twice a week in full metal codpiece regalia, others might need a bit of a push, so here’s some Oklahoma-inspired items that Gene and Paul might want to add to the menu for a little Red Dirt-flair:
Calling Dr. Lamb Fries: Forget Cattleman’s! These deep fried balls are inspired by Simmons own sexual bravado, seasoned with his own special Heaven’s on Fire rub and sent to your table with a complimentary Polaroid for your personal records.
Peter Criss’ Catman Fried Catfish: Served fresh out of the fryer by an Eric Singer-lookalike, this down-home recipe featuring a cocaine-and-cornmeal breading from the former drummer was the end result of a contract dispute where, thankfully, we’re all winners.
I Was Made for Chicken Fried Steak: Served with disco-drenched gravy-fries, at first many of the band’s fans hated KISS’s direction in chicken fried steak production, but now, over 30 years later, it’s considered one of the most classic items in the Rock & Brews repertoire.
Onion Burger All Over Your Face: Wipe that make-up off your face with this Unmasked take on the Oklahoma born and bred classic! Featuring nearly a pound of grade-A Vidalia onions in every burger, it’s a Frehley's Comet of flavor that is definite proof that God gave Rock & Brews to you. II.
Sure Know Sausage and Gravy: Get your Revenge on early morning hunger with this killer combo of Gene’s own Love Gun Sausage and Bruce Kulick’s Kountry Gravy. It’ll even leave Beth calling…for seconds!
Scheduled to open in November with Simmons and Stanley in attendance—whether it’s a sweet Christine Sixteen or a Crazy Crazy Night out with the boys, Rock & Brews will have even the most ardent knight in Satan’s service licking it up! It ain’t a crime to be good to yourself!