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5 Things You Need To Know About Miss USA Olivia Jordan…

miss oklahoma olivia jordan

It finally happened!

Last night, Olivia Jordan became the first Miss Oklahoma to be crowned Miss USA. Shocking, huh? We've produced more Miss Americas per capita than any other state, but in 63 years we couldn't get one woman who looks good in heels and a swimsuit to represent us in Miss Universe. Texas, on the other hand, has produced nine champions. Maybe all the Oklahoma hot girls who are not talented enough to compete in Miss America move to Texas with our teachers.

Anyway, I'm feeling very lazy this morning, so I thought I'd come up with one of those click-baity (yet extremely informative) five things you need to know about Oklahoma's Olivia Jordan, the current Miss USA...

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1. She was a Hot Girl Friday back in January... 

Not be that hipster who liked the band first or anything, but we totally knew Olivia Jordan was hot before most of America did. Hey Oklahoma Gazette, I guess you can learn a little from our blatantly misogynistic Hot Girl Friday feature.


olivia jordan

2. She has a Mr. Skin entry... 

Don't ask how I know this, but Olivia Jordan apparently (Link NSFW) showed her buttocks on the USA show "Murder In The First."  That's nice. What a role model Olivia is for young women across the world! If you're beautiful, talented and almost smart, you too can some day show your ass on an awful Steven Bochco cop drama.


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3. She's 26...

Isn't that kind of old for a pageant contestant? I'm not judging... I'm just asking. The last time around we were represented by jailbait and barely cracked the Top 20, now we send a woman old enough to run for Congress to compete and come home with the crown. Yeah, it's kind of like a 32-year-old slugger from Japan winning "Rookie of the Year" in his first MLB season, but I'll take it.


alex wherely

4. Hey, Alex Wehrley was hosting the pageant...

Okay, this doesn't have anything to do with Olivia Jordan, but former Miss Wisconsin Alex Wehrley hosted this year's pageant for Reel TV after just about everyone in the media boycotted the event over Donald Trump's comments. If you remember correctly, Alex hosted a public access show for KSBI a few years ago and was named the Hottest Woman in the Oklahoma City media in 2013. It's good to see her career is taking off, and she's able to land gigs literally no one else wanted.


4b. Olivia was first runner-up for Miss California USA in 2013...

I ran across this after coming up with my list of five things, so we'll make it 4b. Apparently, Olivia is a bit of carpetbagger. I guess it paid off.


oliva jordan usa

5. Olivia Jordan is smart and/or at least not as dumb as other the contestants...

I can't find the video, but apparently her interview question was about the "next hot-button issue" that needed to be tackled on a national level. This was her response:

“I think we still need to talk about race relations in this country,” Jordan said. “We have not solved this issue. We are still having problems. We keep hearing about new issues coming up. We really need to work on being an accepting society and being a society where every single person, no matter your race, no matter your gender, is given the same rights and privileges and opportunities.”

I agree with her statement, but referring to race relations as the "next" hot button issue that needs to be tackled would be like telling a friend that Aerosmith is the next hot band to watch for. It's been a hot button issue for a couple of hundred years! That being said, Olivia sounds like a Nobel Prize winner when you compare her response to the other contestants.

Check out these Mary Fallin impersonations...

They'll make great governors someday...

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