I guess I'd like to officially welcome me back to the TLO fold. I was in Denver last week on a totally legitimate research trip. In an effort to make that trip tax-deductible, I'll write a post about it later this week.
While I was away, things didn't change all that much in the Big Town. In fact, you can probably say it was a normal week. The Oklahoma City media stirred up ratings-generating fear about severe storms that never happened, Oklahoma lawmakers proved they're nothing but puppets, Scott Brooks stuck to his Hefner Middle School-inspired offense, and Christina Fallin and her boyfriend Steven Battles trolled Native Americans.
Via KOKH Fox 25:
Christina Fallin, daughter of Governor Mary Fallin, and her band Pink Pony, posted on Facebook the band would perform in "full regalia", stirring controversy.
The band performed at Norman's Music Fest Saturday night. Fallin's band was not in regalia, but according to photos, Fallin appeared in a shawl that imitated Native American style with "sheep" written on the back. She also performed a fake war dance, attendees said.
Protesters picketed the show with signs that read "Culture is not a costume" and "I am not a costume."
Wow. After all the attention I've given to Hipster Boo Boo, her husbands, her boyfriends, and her bands over the years, you think she'd have the decency to wait and pull a stunt like this while I'm in town. Seriously, talk about biting the hand that feeds. I always thought the arrangement went like this:
1. Christina Fallin does something naive, stupid, irritating and offensive for attention
2. TLO writes about it and get hits and pageviews
I guess that deal is now off. Not only did they wait until I was out of town to taunt and troll people opposed to the mocking ethnic groups, but due to my absence, the concert and protests were covered by KOKH Fox 25 and a TLO contributor for the Red Dirt Report. WTF!? Red Dirt Report? Shouldn't they be writing about UFOs or going down on Ed Shadid or something?
Of course, two can play at this little passive aggressive game. Instead of focusing on Pink Pony's contrived and semi-successful attempt at generating fame and notoriety through controversy at the Norman Music Festival, let's focus on something they really don't want us talking about...their music.
A couple of weeks ago, Pink Pony released the music video for their new song "Lots of Colors." It features Christina Fallin on vocals. Yes, Hipster Boo Boo sings. It's a voice so sweet and pure that it literally makes you want to fuck a state trooper.
Check it out:
Oops! Don't you hate it when I do that? That was actually Milk on Milk's "Like A Vulture." Remember Milk on Milk? It was the duo Christina Fallin formed with her then husband Matt Bacon. Or as I like to call it, the first time Christina Fallin tried to use a relationship to establish and advance a music career.
Here's the new track from Pink Pony. If you can watch it without chuckling, rolling your eyes or having blood drip from your ears, you should probably join the CIA. You can literally handle anything:
If I was a reviewer for Pitchfork, I'd probably give that version of Sleigh Bells rapes Beach House while listening to Phantogram a 1.2. Then I'd immediately swear off music and drink heavily.
Actually, it isn't that bad. The song's one redeeming quality is that it does sound like pretty good background music for a bad TV movie. Perhaps something you'd hear on Lifetime as some cool chic girl is driving through downtown at night with the lights from towering skyscrapers and digital billboards reflecting off her windshield and the hood of her car. You know, right before she gets in a really bad car wreck.
Also, know what else had a lots of colors? That Native American headdress Christina Fallin donned during the So6ix photo shoot. I would say this song has something to do with that, but that would require giving Christina Fallin credit for understanding symbolism and abstract thought. The song is probably about the 64-count box of crayons (the one with the sharpener) she uses to color on the walls at the Governor's mansion. That would actually explain amazing teen angst / entitled rich girl with mommy issues lyrics like:
I want to make her proud.She can't possibly knowwhat it means to me.I just want to be alone.If I could only understandwhy I feel the disconnection.
Wow. Bob Dylan eat your heart out. I haven't seen lyrics like that since I messed around with all those word magnets on my friend's refrigerator.
After listening to their stuff, I think it's pretty obvious why Pink Pony trolls people on social media and has such an appreciation for controversy and other beautiful things. Until they pull a Wayne Coyne and surround themselves with talent, they have to get people to pay attention to them somehow, right? If it's not going to be through their music, it may as well be through faux controversy and pissing off Native Americans. Who knows, maybe this is all part of a grand plan to become the Marilyn Manson's of hipster indie music. Think about it. Their music sucks, they have protestors at concerts, and with apologies to Discriminated White Girl, both Christina and Steven are incredibly pale. I hope I'm in town to see it when they make it big.
