Hollywood doesn't give the same kind of love to Thanksgiving as it does Christmas, or even Halloween. In fact, when it comes to the silver screen, Thanksgiving's representation is comparable to that of St. Patrick's Day, or the Fourth of July, which is odd considering that the only thing anyone wants to do in the hours leading up to Thanksgiving dinner is watch copious amounts of television.
I wanted to put together a list of Thanksgiving movies, but then I realized that there'd probably only be two movies on said list. Instead, I've fashioned a countdown that includes a bunch of movies that mention Thanksgiving in some form, no matter how insignificantly it contributes to the plot.
1. Planes Trains and Automobiles
When someone mentions "Thanksgiving movies," this is pretty much the only film that comes to mind. It is the Citizen Kane of Thanksgiving movies. If we were all playing King's Cup and someone designated "Thanksgiving flicks" as the category, everyone but the first person who took a turn would have to take a drink.
2. Hannah and Her Sisters
Now, I know many of you read that first blurb and thought "God, Chelsea's an idiot. Everyone who's cultured and worldly (note: pretentious and awful) has seen Woody Allen's ensemble masterpiece centered around Thanksgiving's feast! She's just a dumb 24-year-old who thinks Sex and the City is artistic and Miley Cyrus is iconic."
...Well friends, you're not that far off from the truth. The only reason why I know this movie exists is because E! profiled Barbara Hershey's romance with Sayed from Lost in a special on Hollywood cougars.
3. Miracle on 34th Street
Okay, so everyone loves this movie because of its heartwarming themes, courtroom drama, Dylan McDermott, and that stinkin' adorable little Mara Wilson. I was super jealous of her box seats to the Thanksgiving parade, and the time when Santa Claus babysat her.
That being said, I don't know, maybe it's the cane or the sleazy drunk bad Santa guy, but something about this film gives me the major heebie jeebies--which according to Twitter, is not covered under Obamacare.
Admit it. Eli Roth is kinda awesome, and you've had nightmares about killer pilgrims too.
5. Christmas with the Kranks
I'm fairly certain that I'm the only person who adores this movie. I have no idea what this says about my sense of humor, the level of my intelligence, or my dignity. But in my defense, it's an adaptation of a hilarious John Grisham novel, and uh...uh...
6. Jack and Jill
I never said these were good movies.
7. Funny People
Remember that one two-minute scene when all the comedians gather for Friendsgiving and Adam Sandler, essentially playing an Adam Sandler, gives an awkward speech? Okay okay I know I'm pushing it now...
8. Scent of a Woman
I thought of another good one, HAH!
9. Pieces of April
So I didn't actually see the one (I mean, who did?), but according to Wikipedia, Katie Holmes is a punk rock misfit and has to have Thanksgiving dinner with her dysfunctional family. So, pretty much exactly how I viewed my holidays during middle school. I took my punk rock phase pretty seriously, you guys. I owned a studded belt from Hot Topic and everything.
One must never f---with Willem Dafoe. Especially if he's wielding a knife...or is a part-time supervillian.
11. Brokeback Mountain
Forget the parade, the football games, and Home Alone. It's 2013! I nominate this heart wrenching, critically acclaimed masterpiece to be the official film of the Thanksgiving holiday. Turn it on for grammy and gramps while you do the dishes from the feast, they'll love it...and totally not say anything offensive.
Follow Chelsea on Twitter at @xCawoodstock