The defeated man pictured above is Mark Gregory Valadez. The Cornholio wannabe was caught hiding a loaded gun in his bunghole while being detained at the Oklahoma County Jail over the weekend. KFOR's Joleen Chaney has all the details:
Jail officials discover Derringer in man’s derriere
Oklahoma County officials were in for a big surprise over the weekend when an inmate was found with a loaded firearm inside the jail, but how he managed to smuggle it in, is what has lawmen taking a second look.
Thanks to another inmate, they were able to get to the “bottom” of it.
I hate puns. KFOR should have stuck that one where the sun doesn't shine.
So how did this man manage to smuggle a loaded weapon into jail?
Oklahoma County Sheriff John Whetsel said, “In this case, authorities said the weapon got past a body search. A pat-down will not reveal a Derringer firearm that is secreted in a body cavity.”
Authorities said because so many people were booked into jail over the weekend, Mark Gregory Valadez never went through a metal detector before being put into a jail cell with his “concealed” weapon.
Sheriff Whetsel said Valadez began bragging about the gun to other inmates and that’s when things got a bit more thorough.
“We had our officers go up and do a search and they found a little small Derringer with one small round inside,” Sheriff Whetsel said.
A small round inside the gun, inside Valadez.
Man, this would be the wrong week to either a) get arrested or b) work for the jail. You just know they're going to take body cavity searches extra-serious this week. If you need proof, check out the look on Sheriff John Wetzel's face from the KFOR news report:
Uhm, is he watching his own funeral or did he just learn there was an inmate in his jail with a gun stuffed up the anus? I don't know. I could be neither. Sheriff Wetzel may be one of those guys who gets all shy and nervous when talking to hot chicks:
Yeah, that's probably what it is.
Anyway, I kind of liked the KFOR report. Not only did we get to see shy / nervous / ashamed Sheriff Wetzel, but we also got:
Grossed Out Joleen Chaney
Grossed Out Kevin Ogle
The "Man on the Street" who knew way too much about "keistering."