Maybe the Oklahoman's editors were inspired by their new purpose statement, or perhaps some of their columnists have gotten a bit bored, but the new satirical editorials in the paper have been a surprising hit. The commentaries, which are written from the point of view of a logical, rational, semi-sane human being, provide well-rounded, not-to-be-taken-seriously criticisms of the wacko core of the state GOP. They offer a much-needed break from the drab, down-trodden opinions that are usually found in "The State's More Trusted News."
Things started last week with an article that "criticized" Oklahoma House Speaker T.W. Shannon. It's pretty funny. Here's a snippet:
Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus announced recently that Oklahoma House Speaker T.W. Shannon will be featured at RNC events across the country. The honor was likely bestowed based on Shannon's personal appeal and his potential — not on his actual record.
Shannon, R-Lawton, is clearly likable and charismatic. He's a gifted public speaker. But his biggest appeal to national GOP leaders is undoubtedly his heritage. Shannon is a black Republican and a member of the Chickasaw Nation. That's a rare combination.
Shannon's record so far hasn't drawn national attention. Under Shannon, the House has steadfastly opposed incurring more bonded indebtedness. The result is that major state repairs remain largely unaddressed. Lawmakers instead appropriated funds to fix the Oklahoma Capitol and designated $30 million for other buildings.
Rather than fully address the problem, lawmakers mostly kicked the can down the road. And they did so with a bill combining Capitol repair funds and a tax cut to induce legislative support. A legal challenge based on unconstitutional logrolling is now expected.
Shannon has championed welfare reform measures, including work requirements. That's fine, but it seems a throwback to the cutting edge of political debate in the early 1990s or before, not 2013.
Under Shannon's leadership, the House passed numerous bills catering to fringe elements by focusing on the United Nations' Agenda 21, a hobgoblin of conspiracy theorists, and calling for state nullification of federal law. (Fortunately, Senate conservatives killed those bills.) David Barton, a respected conservative authority on historical and constitutional issues, has called nullification “a dangerous anarchic maldoctrine, cancerous and toxic to the health and vigor of a constitutional republic.” House members passed it anyway.
Those bills aren't a sign of conservative leadership. Instead, they embody liberal parodies of conservatism. The House even advanced bills to water down prior Republican achievements, legislation that would have likely been championed under Democratic control.
Yeah, that was published in the Oklahoman. If you think that's over the top and ridiculous, check out this op-ed written by someone pretending to be State Rep. Doug Cox (R). He's a physician that defends birth control and abortion. It's satire at it's finest:
All of the new Oklahoma laws aimed at limiting abortion and contraception are great for the Republican family that lives in a gingerbread house with a two-car garage, two planned kids and a dog. In the real world, they are less than perfect.
As a practicing physician (who never has or will perform an abortion), I deal with the real world. In the real world, 15- and 16-year-olds get pregnant (sadly, 12-, 13- and 14-year-olds do also). In the real world, 62 percent of women ages 20 to 24 who give birth are unmarried. And in the world I work and live in, an unplanned pregnancy can throw up a real roadblock on a woman's path to escaping the shackles of poverty.
Yet I cannot convince my Republican colleagues that one of the best ways to eliminate abortions is to ensure access to contraception. A recent attempt by my fellow lawmakers to prevent Medicaid dollars from covering the “morning after” pill is a case in point. Denying access to this important contraceptive is a sure way to increase legal and back-alley abortions. Moreover, such a law would discriminate against low-income women who depend on Medicaid for their health care.
Hysterical, huh. Like any GOP member of the state house is really going to write something that logical and rational. What's next? An op-ed from a State Senator demanding science be taught in Oklahoma classrooms?
It gets better:
But wait, some lawmakers want to go even further and limit everyone's access to birth control by allowing pharmacists to refuse to fill prescriptions for contraception.
What happened to the Republican Party that I joined? The party where conservative presidential candidate Barry Goldwater felt women should have the right to control their own destiny? The party where President Ronald Reagan said a poor person showing up in the emergency room deserved needed treatment regardless of ability to pay? What happened to the Republican Party that felt government should not overregulate people until (as we say in Oklahoma) “you have walked a mile in their moccasins”?
Who does this guy think he is??? Bob Dole? He's so naive he hasn't figured out that the party he joined sold its soul to (and was overwhelmed by) socially conservative wackos in the 1980s.
Is my thinking too clouded by my experiences in the real world? Experiences like having a preacher, in the privacy of an exam room say, “Doc, you have heard me preach against abortion but now my 15-year-old daughter is pregnant, where can I send her?” Or maybe it was that 17-year-old foreign exchange student who said, “I really made a mistake last night. Can you prescribe a morning-after pill for me? If I return to my home country pregnant, life as I know it will be over.”
I like how the author used the absurdity of a pastor wanting his daughter to get an abortion, or a foreign exchange student having premarital sex. We know those things would never take place in Oklahoma.
What happened to the Republican Party that felt that the government has no business being in an exam room, standing between me and my patient? Where did the party go that felt some decisions in a woman's life should be made not by legislators and government, but rather by the women, her conscience, her doctor and her God?
I'll tell you what happened to that Republican party. They became hypocrites.
Anyway, I think I'm going to enjoy the new satirical section of the Oklahoma editorial page. My only concern is that people may begin to take the stuff seriously and not realize that it's satire. They need to issue a disclaimer or something.
