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Eddie Fields is concerned about Oklahoma’s lack of toilet paper”¦

6:00 AM EDT on May 4, 2010

Eddie Fields is the State Representative for Oklahoma House District 36.  This district covers thriving metropolises such as Barnsdall, Hominy, and everyone's favorite tourist attraction, Pawhuska.

On April 23, Fields announced his candidacy for the Oklahoma State Senate (District 10). On his campaign website, he said that he wants to be a Senator so he can "stop the abuses of a runaway federal government" and to make Oklahoma "an example to the nation of how the private sector can grow the economy."

However, a poll on that same website makes you wonder what his platform really is.

Yes, a man who was elected to help craft the laws that govern our state has a poll on his website asking his constituents if they are more concerned about stray squirrels, a lack of toilet paper or frog control.  For what it's worth, my dog and old neighbor with the pellet gun voted for stray squirrels.

Call me crazy, but I kind of hope that's a legitimate poll.  In fact, we need to go vote right now!  Think of how great it would be if the state legislature spent their time passing laws to address the toilet paper shortage in Oklahoma instead of draconian legislation that limits the rights and freedoms of women.   I would have gladly taken a frog control program over what they called "tort reform" (a.k.a. "corporate immunity").

Also, I love how the poll's two serious answers "” "We need more jobs" and "the economy" "” have to do with the same damn topic.  That's like something you'd see on the LSAT.  Maybe to make things less confusing Fields should ask if the Thunder's biggest weakness this past season was "we need more size in the post" or "rebounding."

Anyway, once Fields threatens to fire his webmaster "” probably the guy with mullet "” I'm sure the poll answers will be changed to the typical clichéd Republican mantras.  You know what they are: less government, lower taxes, more guns, no sex and only approve of people who look like, act like and speak like you.  And stray squirrels.  Kill em' all!

Update:  After we broke this story, Eddie updated his poll to include more stereotypical answers.  Expect the frog control groups to be pissed.

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