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What The Hell

8:50 PM EDT on March 22, 2008

NOT what I expected to see in my e-mail inbox when I got home tonight.

Alva Review/Courier

Oklahoma City "“ A group of investors represented by Jerry Kobyluk, announced today that they plan to build a 100,000 seat Dome Stadium which will cost 1.2 Billion dollars, in one of three possible locations in the central Oklahoma vicinity.

The Dome Stadium will be the largest of it's kind in North America. It will have a natural grass retractable field on a Hitachi track system that can be removed in forty-five minutes or replaced in the same amount of time.

"The retractable roof is three and a half acres in size," Kobyluk said.

OK. A couple things about this story.

1. It was broken by something called the Alva Review/Courier-- a publication not, to my knowledge, known for breaking many big stories around the state -- and has no byline nor is it labeled as a wire story.

2. The dude supposedly planning this thing is some guy from Spencer who actually made TIMEasia.com when he lost to a dead woman while running for the Senate (scroll down to "verbatim").

3. Randomly building the largest stadium in North America in Oklahoma City seems slightly ambitious and most likely insane, even with our new "Big League" status.

For these reasons, I am officially announcing that this story is obviously true and we should all believe every word of it. Also, I am officially announcing that I will be building Oklahoma's tallest building. It will be located in Beggs, Oklahoma and I am calling it "Monument Oklahoma." It will be 700 feet tall and you will only be able to get to the top by giant slingshot. Also, anyone who goes there will automatically receive free sno-cones for life. Any flavor.

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