OSU fans find new way to celebrate futility…

In my 47 or so years of being a born-and-bred OU fan, I don’t think I’ve ever felt sorry for the OSU football program.

It’s not for a lack of opportunities — from the missed Iowa State field goal to the Baylor goal-line stand to Brent Parker doing his thing — OSU seems to specialize in making people feel pity. Squinky exists for a reason, right?

All that being said, I’m worried I may be having a change of heart.

Now that OSU is in a lower-level league – and doesn’t compete with OU for the same championships or players – I don’t hate the Cowboys with the same passion I once did. In fact, I’m starting to feel a little bit sorry for them. In this season alone, they lost to Tulsa, they lost their coach, and now — worst of all — they’ve lost their shirts!

Yikes. To quote one of the great ad campaigns in American history: “Aren’t you glad you use Dial? Don’t you wish everybody did?”

(Editor’s Note for OSU fans: Dial is a brand of soap that people who bathe may use to smell better. Learn more about soap here.)

On one hand, you have to appreciate the determination of that one fan. His stubborn ability to will something like this to organic life — and get hundreds of drunken, depressed, and dejected OSU fans who smell like hay and Jelly Roll to disrobe and swing their shirts in the air — has to look good on a résumé:

“I see here you organized the Great OSU Man Boob Rally of 2025. Tell us more about that.”

Although it’s easy to admire the man, in general, I think the whole thing is very sad. The ghost of Boone Pickens has to be choking on his own vomit right now. Not only is the football program so bad that fans are dancing around topless in large groups like grandpa just returned from the cattle auction, but the players and the media are encouraging it!

When these guys signed at OSU, do you think they imagined they’d be thanking fans for taking off their shirts to support the team after a loss to Houston? I bet they wished they went to a place like OU where they could thank the student section for leaving at halftime!

Obviously, the one thing missing from this shirts off party was women. I guess that makes sense.

If you’re a woman (who doesn’t chew tobacco), dancing around in a primal mosh pit with a bunch of smelly, topless Morgan Wallen fans probably doesn’t sound like a good time. But then again, we’re 50 years past Title IX. You’d think at least one or two brave women in sports bras would jump in and try to crowd surf. Maybe those lasses used up all their energy at the Boys From Oklahoma concert.

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.