Ryan Walters Debuts New Fasco Cub Scout Pack Leader Uniform and Mustache…

Welcome back to our sad reality, Moles!

Before we get back into the hot, humid, summery flow of things, I hope everyone had a fun and festive 4th of July holiday lighting fireworks, tubing around the lake, and celebrating all the rights and freedoms our “founding fathers” declared for white men several centuries ago.

You know, those really special ones that gave us the ability to self-rule, form our own government, and elect diabolical, mouthbreathing Christian Nationalists to ruin it:

Did you catch that?

The “radical Marxists” are suing the radical fascist for trying to force biblical teachings and right-wing authoritarian political propaganda into our kids' history books. I guess on behalf of me, our founding fathers, and all others who oppose today’s modern-day Christian Nationalist fascism, go Marxists!

If you want to read about the lawsuit against Ryan Walters, you can do that here, but if you ask me, the really big news – outside of Oklahomans having to depend on the dreaded “marxists” to defend public education – is that Ryan Walters has unveiled a new look and uniform as he begins his wade into the Oklahoma Governor’s race.

Just like Ryan, let’s take a second look at that video

Yep, that’s right!

Say goodbye to the skinny tie, thin beard, and ultra-clear wood shutter background that we’re so used to, and give a big Oklahoma “Hello” to the state-issued, official-looking Cub Scout pack-leader jacket with the 1980s giganto-collar, a stylish gay Reno 911 mustache, and weird Oklahoma flag Zoom background blur effect.

Now if Ryan can only score a high-definition camera and microphone that doesn’t make him sound like he’s recording audio for the Hitler Youth in a high school bathroom, all the little fascists out there will love him!

For what it’s worth, I think this new look is part of a multi-point strategic plan to change and soften Ryan's image just in time for his expected gubernatorial run.

As polling recently revealed, he already has the unwavering support of most of the MAGA-lovers, Christian Nationalists, and other right-wing fasco-activists out there who vote in primaries, but needs to boost his favorability to the slightly less insane conservative demographics out there.

I guess one way to do that is to change your look to that of a more approachable, square-knot-tying, gay motorcycle cop.

Another is to stage meetings with your enemies, rivals, and others you villify to show that you’re reasonable, open-minded and not that bad.

Two quick thoughts…

1. If you’re a school superintendent, principal, teacher, student, or janitor and Ryan Walters wants to meet with you, keep in mind that even if you have the best intentions, you’re basically being used as a political prop or pawn, and helping advance the dickweed’s political career and ambitions.

2. If you’re a local media outlet and you cover these staged political stunts, you’re also doing the dickweed’s bidding.

But then again, what do I know?

I’m just a biased person who sees through the obvious charade, and will unfortunately have to cover this guy’s likely gubernatorial run, and – I assume – victory.

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.