Being both a big fan of breakfast food and heart disease, I was genuinely pumped for the grand opening of The Big Biscuit—Oklahoma City’s newest breakfast nook that promised the kind of starchy goodness that makes early eating a borderline sexual pleasure.
But, sadly, I soon discovered that The Big Biscuit is a national chain. And for the most part, I prefer to keep those places out of regular TLO reviews. Maybe a new Chain Reaction piece? Perhaps.
So, In desperate need of some breakfast action—and after scouring my local resources—I landed on Granny’s Kitchen at 7206 Northwest Expressway.
I wasn’t sure what to expect, but as soon as I walked through the door, I was greeted by the company’s elderly mascot, decked out in big booty shorts, literally begging me to get “nasty” with her.
Centenarian sex-objects and a big plate of breakfast foods? Yes, please!
After getting our seats nice and wet with that Granny goodness, we browsed the menu for a few minutes and placed our orders. As I scoped out the surroundings, I spotted a former member of the cult I was part of a few years ago and silently hoped he wouldn’t recognize my rejuvenated, mind-control-free self.
He didn’t.
As I slouched in my seat, our waitress dropped off a big cup of coffee, which I immediately pounded like it owed me money. While I waited for a refill, my wife—always in the mood for a fruity treat—sipped on a Mango Smoothie ($6.00) that was practically spilling over with sweet, tropical goodness.
After a few minutes of light conversation about the mile-wide American flag draped across the wall facing us, our food finally arrived.
My wife, staying loyal to the “Not So Big and Healthy” side of the menu, went with the Breakfast BLT ($13.59). Made with sweet and spicy bacon, pecan wood shoulder bacon, and a perfectly cooked over-medium egg, it was all brought together with bacon habanero jam and a pile of cheesy hash browns on the side.
Usually, “healthy” restaurant fare amounts to a tree branch and a handful of berries. But here, even the supposedly health-conscious options don’t sacrifice flavor. The sweet and spicy bacon paired with the habanero jam delivered a top-tier kick of heat, while the cheesy hash browns acted as a perfect comedown—rich, comforting, and totally satisfying.
While my wife went the responsible route, I craved more from that dirty elder and her savory secrets. So I went all in on the Nasty Granny ($20.00)—an Oklahoma-inspired trash can of a dish featuring chicken fried steak piled over a halved biscuit and smothered in tater tots, gravy, bacon, ham, sausage crumbles, onions, bell peppers, and cheddar cheese.
Overall, the dish was a pleasure to inhale.
Weighing in at three or four pounds, it may not win any awards for presentation, but who cares, when every forkful tastes like Oklahoma comfort on a Sunday morning? The chicken fried steak was crisp and tender, the biscuit soaked up the gravy like it was born to do it, and the mix of meats, tots, and melty cheese delivered a breakfast-laced gut punch in the best possible way. Like any wild granny, it was a glorious mess.
Before heading out, I wanted one more cup of coffee, and our waitperson quietly suggested Granny’s hot specialty—Granny’s Fresh Cinnamon Roll ($4.00).
Thankfully, Granny and her cinnamon roll turned out to be the messiest treat I didn’t know I needed. And I’ve got to say, it hit the Granny-spot, with sweet, sticky, sugary goop melting all over the plate—and right onto my tongue.
Stuffed full of breakfast bliss, I slinked past the cult member and his family on the way out. Surprisingly, he still didn’t recognize me. But as I walked to the car, I couldn’t help but wonder—maybe I should’ve tried to deprogram him with a cinnamon roll or two… right?
Cómpralo ya!
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Follow Louis Fowler on Instagram at @louisfowler78.
