After a fun week overindulging in the bitter lovers’ quarrel between Kevin Stitt and Ryan Walters, I guess we were due for some really boring news to report…
Charles McCall is running for Governor!
"Wait a second. Who?"
Charles McCall. He served as House Speaker for eight years, where, under his leadership, the state passed a variety of culture war bills, tax cuts for the rich, and other legislative acts that have helped keep Oklahoma in the Bottom 10 of just about every state ranking that matters.
"I still don’t know who you’re talking about. Is he the one who was caught with the teenage prostitute in a Southside motel room?"
No, that’s Ralph Shortey, the big, tall, braggadocious former State Senator from the Southside who liked teens!
McCall is an affluent banker from Oklahoma’s racist Deep South who served as Speaker of the House from 2016 to 2024. He’s a big, tall dude with slicked-back hair—kind of like a stiffer, quieter, more country-gentleman version of Kevin Stitt.
I think the most notable thing he did as Speaker was get rattled when a Democratic state rep heckled him outside a hallway press scrum during one of Oklahoma’s trademark budget crises. Remember that?
"Not at all. I still have no clue who you’re talking about."
Honestly, I can’t blame you.
McCall is reserved, dull, and stale—or, as a radiologist would say, unremarkable. That probably explains why he announced his gubernatorial run in the most boring way possible: a long, meandering press release.
Check this out:
Okay, in case you don’t want to zoom your phone or browser to 400%, here’s the quick TL;DR:
Charles McCall, a human Ambien tablet, is running for governor. He thinks the left is evil, and spent eight years as House Speaker rubber-stamping every right-wing bill imaginable, and, in the process, helping make Oklahoma a bottom 10 state. He thinks God put Trump – a convicted felon who's trying to convert America into a dictatorship – back in the White House to save the country.
In other news, snoooooooore.
Seriously, is that the best the guy can do?
While Gentner Drummond—the other wealthy rural Oklahoma banker running for governor—is out announcing his campaign while holding beef burger cookouts at county fairgrounds with corrupt sheriffs, McCall is tossing out boring, cliché-filled press releases. It makes you wonder if he really wants to be governor or just wants to put his wife to sleep each night by having her proofread his writings.
Although McCall has money, clout, and name recognition in conservative Oklahoma political circles, he appears to be a long shot to actually win the race. According to Oklahoma’s Politico-in-Chief, Pat McFerron (no relation), McCall is way behind in polling.
Yeah, I know it’s early, and McCall has plenty of time to flood mailboxes and TV airwaves with political ads to boost his profile, but in today’s attention economy—where the loudest, dumbest, and most narcissistic thrive—I can’t see him making a big dent in Drummond’s lead.
Just like McCall, Drummond is also a banker, but he has even more money in the vault.
Plus, as Gent's entry into the Walters-Stitt fray shows, he is more media-savvy and understands that Oklahoma politics is basically pro wrestling for rich guys and that the only thing worse than people talking about you is people not talking about you.
That being said, Oklahoma is a pretty messed-up state where logic and reason go to die, so who knows? Maybe McCall can dig deep and mount a Cinderella comeback victory. I’m not sure I’d take that bet, though. More than likely, McCall’s token gubernatorial run will end in defeat, and he’ll be back at the grocery store creeping on women as they shop.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
