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Great. Our New House Speaker Creeps on Moms at the Grocery Store.

4:07 PM EST on November 29, 2016

state-rep-charles-mccall

The David Stanley salesman wannabe pictured above is Charles McCall. He's the new Speaker-elect for the Oklahoma House of Representatives – that special place in our government where hope, optimism, logic and compassion all go to die.

If you think Charles looks like the guy who would creep on a woman at the grocery store, don't feel bad. He kind of admits to it in an editorial he wrote this week for The Oklahoman:

Have you ever watched a mother shopping for groceries? If you paid attention, you probably noticed two things: first, she spent time deliberating over items as she perused the aisles and, second, she invariably removed items from her cart as she added new items.

Yeah, who hasn't watched a mother shopping for groceries? It's so fun! There's nothing more exciting than spending your afternoon navigating through the Whole Foods / Trader Joes / Sprouts triangle to check out... errrr... watch mom's stretch, reach and "deliberate over items" on the top shelf all while you crouch like a lion on the hunt, patiently waiting for the perfect moment to waltz in and with a big helpful, smile say "Hi, I'm Chaz. May I help you with that?"

Here's more:

This mother was making value choices about how to spend her money — choices that involve trade-offs in allocating resources. Like most Oklahomans, she probably has a set budget and must make hard choices about how to spend her family's money.

Oh really?! I just thought all the moms were like me and really indecisive! "Black beans... Noooooo. Pinto Beans.... Yes!!! Wait. No... Black Beans. Those do sound good. Or, well, maybe the Ranch ones."

And like a good mother at the grocery store, taxpayers expect legislators at the state Capitol to be good stewards of the dollars we have been entrusted with. Likewise, Republicans in the House of Representatives expect state agencies to be accountable and efficient with the taxpayer dollars they are appropriated.

To that end, House Republicans are doubling our efforts toward crafting a transparent state budget that reflects Oklahoma values for fiscal year 2018.

First of all, we get it, brah! Voters expect elected officials to make responsible decisions regarding our budget, finances and where and how to prioritize spending. Thanks for the clarification, Einstein, and for wasting our time with a simple-minded analogy that only a guy with slicky hair could dream up.

Second, is this what mansplaining is? If so, I don't see how ladies put up with it. It's almost as bad as having some creeper spy on you while "deliberating over items" at the grocery store.

If you're really bored, you can read the rest of the editorial here. Predictably, he spins the analogy into a cliché piece about a call for tough, responsible decision-making. He also ties it all back together with the grocery store mom analogy at the end.

As we deliberate over the budget during the coming months, I trust we will approach this process like the diligent mother in the grocery store, thoughtfully weighing each request, adding and removing options from our cart until we have a budget that stays within our means and moves us toward a better Oklahoma.

Yeah, a better Oklahoma... but for who? Energy companies? Wealthy white people? Ambitious politicians? Let's hope this diligent, value-shopping mother that Chaz cares so much isn't a teacher or has to rely on any form of state assistance to provide food for her family. Otherwise, she may have to "deliberate" moving to a better run state.

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