Yesterday, we unveiled the first half of the TLO 69. Today, we wrap it up!
If you read or support this website, thanks for stopping by and checking out all the pixelated words, thoughts and typos we shared in 2024. We look forward to doing it all over again in 2025!
33. Spineless Insurance Commissioner To Blame For Oklahoma's Ultra-High Home Insurance Rates
Date Published: 7/10/24
Thanks to an investigation by the NY Times, I’ve learned that expensive home insurance is another drawback to living in Oklahoma, but it’s not because of our weather.
It’s actually the result of our spineless Insurance Commissioner Glen Mulready failing to protect the people he represents and rolling over and asking for a belly rub whenever insurance companies request a premium increase.
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34. You Can Own This Over The Top Southside Mansion For Only 17 5 Million
Date Published: 7/12/24
Earlier this week, an over-the-top mansion located in the far southeast fringes of Oklahoma City, just an AWACS throw away from Tinker Air Force Base, hit the market for a cool $17.5 million.
As opposed to the infamous Rose Creek Mansion that looked like it was part of a boudoir LSD-fueled Alice in Wonderland set piece, this super mansion is kind of cool in a tacky, excessive, "Southside Richie Rich Swingers Just Won The Lottery" type of way.
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35. Glenn Powell Tries To Woo Emily Sutton
Date Published: 7/17/24
Powell – a legendary charmer – took the interview as an opportunity to flirt with a giggly Emily and let her know she’s the real MVP, sending her dew point to stratospheric levels.
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36. Oklahoma Corporation Commish Enters Rehab After Scandalous Out Of State Incident
Date Published: 7/17/24
Details of the call weren’t released because they likely confirmed that Hiett got drunk on (NOUN) and allegedly (VERB) the (BODY PART) of a (GENDER) oil and gas worker from (STATE THAT BORDERS OKLAHOMA). He then woke up the next day in a (NOUN) and claims he couldn’t remember what happened.
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Date Published: 7/22/24
On Friday afternoon, just in time for Ryan Walters’s return from Wrestlemania 45: GOP National Convention Edition, KFOR greeted our State School Superintendent with yet another investigative report into his use of taxpayer-funded travel expenses.
This time around, as opposed to driving down to Dallas for right-wing movie premieres, Ryan and Co. apparently lived it up by spending over $12,000 to visit five-star resorts and fancy hotels, where they could then network, self-promote, and hobnob with right-wing elites while going on early morning hot air balloon rides.
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38. Oklahoma Unveils New Socialism-inspired License Plates
Date Published: 8/1/24
I’m not a fan of the dumb little wing-dings at the bottom – and I worry just how much extra attention the red plate will garner from cops, troopers, and other LEOs during out-of-state road trips – but I guess anything is better than the blue mockingbird monstrosity that the Mary Fallin team put together.
Plus, you do have to admit, it's kind of hysterical that hard-core free market, pro-business conservatives like Kevin Stitt, Matt Pinnell, and 98.7% of all other elected Oklahoma officials approved a design theme that was inspired by a flag that was deemed too socialist in the 1920s.
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39. Edmond Scuba Divers Will Do Anything For Free Food
Date Published: 8/2/24
Really? We’re supposed to believe they’re from Edmond? I could see Mustang, Meeker, or even Blanchard, but unless they’ve staked a claim in the no man’s land between Waterloo Rd. and Guthrie – or even in the Edmond Upside Down between the train tracks and Broadway – I’m not buying it.
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40. Ryan Walters New Legal Mastermind Is Weird
Date Published: 8/9/24
What in the world is that?! Is this guy a lawyer or a craft cocktail mixologist at Jones Assembly? Did he book the “right-wing edgelord boudoir” session at Glamour Shots? Is this the photo he uses for his Fascists Only dating profile? Also, who's holding his tiki torch?! Answers please!
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41. John Mulaney Mentions Oklahoma Inferiority Complexes Rejoice
Date Published: 8/15/24
I guess I should give kudos to John Mulaney for winning me over! The dude is funny and – what can I say – impressions of Okie-Vietnamese accents can really disarm a man.
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42. Kevin Stitt To Protect Hungry Kids From Bureaucracy
Date Published: 8/16/24
Yep, rest easy tonight, hungry Oklahoma kids.
It may suck to go to bed on an empty stomach, but hey, at least you’re not getting help from Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. They’re the real bad guys in all this.
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43: Ryan Walters Dares Lawmakers To Impeach Him In Action-Packed Weekend Of Oklahoma Political Theater
Date Published: 8/19/24
Is this just another desperate bid for attention as he eyes higher office? Is he trying to deflect and distract from a bigger issue? Or is he angling to go down as a martyr among Christian Nationalists, alt-right crazies, and homeschool moms who teach science from the Bible and churn out goat milk soap while also scoring unemployment benefits?
I don’t know the answer to that question yet, but I do know that Ryan calling for his own impeachment investigation feels like a cheating husband daring his wife to check his texts, emails, and DMs—knowing full well that all the dirty messages have been deleted or stashed on a burner phone.
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44. No Bueno Oklahoma Teacher Tries To Incorporate Bible Into World History Assignment
Date Published: 8/20/24
I don't know what Mr. Richter did or didn't do to get accused of defrauding Taco Bueno, but I do know this...
Screw World History! He should be in Home-Ec teaching students how to make old-school Muchacos, Nacho Salads, and Chicken Potato Burritos! You know, all the tasty good stuff Taco Bueno pumped out before it was bought by a greedy private equity group in 2015 and promptly ruined with new recipes.
I know I'm a fast food heretic, but that would be way more beneficial to both his students (and the Oklahoma people) than forcing religion down kids' throats. We already have plenty of weird adults ready and on standby to do that.
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45. New Zoo Amp Management Doing Their Best To Ruin Concert Experiences
Date Published: 8/22/24
Yep, that’s right, concertgoers! Even though pedicabs are licensed and regulated by the city, and there aren’t any documented accidents involving them that we’re aware of, the Zoo is banning them for your safety. Remember that the next time you're walking six blocks from the Science Museum to the Zoo Amp's front gates in 105-degree heat.
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46. Edmond Public Schools Provide Ryan Walters With Easy New Controversy To Exploit
Date Published: 8/23/24
Earlier this week, some Jr. Captain America wannabe took to social media to complain that Edmond North High School wouldn’t let him fly a super-sized American flag from the back of his patriotic pickup truck.
As a result, bored Edmond North students – who probably couldn’t identify half the states on a US map – decided to rally together and fly American flags on their cars as a sign of protest.
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47. Storme Jones Out At News 9
Date Published: 9/4/24
According to my Moles, it seems that relations between Storme and News 9 have been icy since the shake-up back in April, and it's probably better for both parties to have a clean break.
That being said, you have to wonder if something else got in the way?
For example, I wonder if Storme was caught using Smucker’s jelly instead of Griffin’s in the News 9 breakroom, or caught leaving old teleprompter scripts outside the dumpster for Kelly Ogle to munch on. My Moles say both are now grounds for immediate termination.
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48. Stitt Taps Lead Singer Of Erotic Suicide As New Omes Director
Date Published: 9/5/24
Yep, that’s the guy Kevin Stitt put in charge of OMES. Imagine that, huh? The only way he can top this is by appointing the lead singer of Wakeland as the new director of DHS!
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49. State Fair Disney On Ice Wig Heist Has A Fairy Tale Ending
Date Published: 9/13/24
Thanks to the publicity the crime generated – and an overzealous OKCPD gumshoe who probably wanted free Oklahoma State Fair tickets – we’re happy to report the case has been solved, the suspect has been nabbed, and the wigs – which have hopefully been dry cleaned and tested for fentanyl – are back on the heads of the princesses, fairies, and wicked stepmothers who wear them!
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Date Published: 9/18/24
Chris protested Brian’s septic stunt to contest organizers, but after holding a quick tribunal—hopefully while wearing hazmat suits—the Dent Source team determined that bringing human excrement into the Sentra was a violation of competition rules, but not enough to disqualify Brian.
They removed the cup from the car and told Chris and Brian to resume play.
Unfortunately, Chris couldn’t mentally recover from this clear violation of the laws of man. Claiming he had “more self-respect than that,” he dropped out of the competition like a loose turd, handing Brian the victory and a new, shitty car.
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51. Lawsuit Response: Berry Tramel Blames Big Dogs In Sellout Crowd Debacle
Date Published: 9/18/24
I kind of feel bad for Berry.
Just like Regular Jim Traber being called up to the majors, he was obviously way out of his league and overwhelmed by the situation. There’s a big difference between writing folksy observations about the sporting world and working behind the scenes to build, fund, and launch a sports website that had no chance of succeeding.
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52. Ryan Walters Plea For College Game Day Spotlight Crushed By Eddie Radosovich
Date Published: 9/19/24
Ryan’s response—which seemed genuine and oblivious to the fact that he was being mocked—was quickly ratioed by the local Twitteratti. Eddie led the charge with an incredible and simple takedown.
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53. Lucas Ross Leads Double Life As Tiktok Star Nadienne Chitwood
Date Published: 9/19/24
Yep, that’s right! We have some breaking TikTok influencer news! Nadienne Chitwood isn’t a real person at all, but one of the many fictional characters and personas that Lucas Ross has made up over the years. That $5.99 a month is totally worth it, huh?
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54. Ryan Walters School Choice Buddy Exposed As Former Gay Porn Star
Date Published: 9/23/24
Ryan loves to spread and flame misinformation about the LGBTQ+ community, claiming they and other woke leftists want to indoctrinate kids by inserting gay porn in public school libraries, soyou'd think he'd be excited that he found a real-life gay porn star trying to influence public education!
But, alas, we've got nothing. Not even a tweet from Ryan blaming George Soros for spreading fake news about his friend!
If only Corey were a teachers' union rep, worked for the U.S. Department of Education, or—gasp!—taught in Edmond Public Schools, maybe Ryan would feel comfortable splooging the story around social media with his Libs of TikTok lady!
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55. Shelley Zumwalt’s Reign At Tourism And In State Government Is Finally Over
Date Published: 9/27/24
Just an ambitious bureaucrat who rolled up her non-frumpy sleeves each day "for something she believed in" – now suddenly quitting that cause, along with a lavish $200,000+ salary, for no clear reason beyond a vague nod to wanting to work in the private sector.
Obviously, that’s the whole story! We wish her the best of luck mingling with other retirees at Lookout Kitchen at Lake Murray. Happy trails!
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56. Edmond Spider Collector Also Gathers Homemade Bombs And Poisonous Beans
Date Published: 10/7/24
Yep, collecting hundreds of poisonous spiders and allegedly mailing their venom to zoos wasn’t a dangerous enough life for this guy. He had to go full Heisenberg, build bombs, and collect the ingredients for ricin. Basically, Nick’s the one who knocks.
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57. Ryan Walters Takes Donald Trump Pandering To Biblical Extremes
Date Published: 10/7/24
Right now, the only problem with Ryan’s plan is that it’s blatantly unconstitutional, will face many legal challenges, the legislature hasn’t okayed the expense, and the bidding process appears to violate numerous Oklahoma laws and protocols.
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58. Smokin Mirrors Brent Swadley's Sizzling Public Letter Reeks Of Guilt
Date Published: 10/8/24
Apparently not content with the indirect heat he’s received on the cool side of the smoker while Ryan Walters continues to steal all local news headlines and media attention, Brent Swadley – the flame-broiled, slow-smoked, dried-out henchman at the center of the Swadley’s Foggy Bottom Swindle – wrote an open letter to the general public about his legal troubles.
You know, those legal troubles that are clearly laid out in the lengthy criminal indictment that documents his shady dealings, swindles, and other “consultant fee” shenanigans that, according to investigations in various sectors of the Oklahoma government, cost taxpayers millions and millions of dollars.
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59. Governor Stitt And His Family Really Really Really Like State Airplanes
Date Published: 10/9/24
Stitt—a small-government conservative who’s against wasteful government spending—has authorized over 100 flights over the last five years, costing taxpayers nearly $301,000. Some destinations include fun and hip locales like Branson, Nashville, Durango, Santa Fe, Pensacola, and even his daughter’s home in Waco!
Cool stuff, huh?
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60. Stoops Co Take Berry Tramel Lawsuit To Vindictive Extremes
Date Published: 10/28/24
Why did Stoops & Co. file this subpoena? Who knows? Maybe Bob Stoops is worried that Berry spilled to The Frontier’s Dylan Goforth the real reason he stepped down as OU’s head coach.
A more plausible explanation is that coaches—and their nepo sons-in-law—are competitive, paranoid, and a bit vindictive.
They’re probably just trying to pile up legal bills and headaches for The Frontier, to punish them for publishing an unflattering story and not following the unwritten local media rule that you must kiss Barry Switzer’s and Bob Stoops’s asses at all times.
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61. Barry Switzer’s Pro-Trump Tweet Sparks Outrage
Date Published: 10/30/24
Not surprisingly, Switzer’s tweet spread across the hellscape formerly known as Twitter like a brick of cocaine in an OU locker room circa 1987.
It got plenty of cheers and likes from the Sooner-born, Sooner-bred crowd, but it also triggered a wave of outrage from people who were shocked—shocked, I tell you—to learn that Barry, an 87-year-old fossil raised in the Jim Crow South who routinely inserts himself into Oklahoma politics, worships a shade of orange that’s even uglier than the one worn by Texas.
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62. Ogle Mole Dispatches Provide Inside Look At Paycoms Recent Firing Spree
Date Published: 11/13/24
Since our initial stories broke, we've had dozens of current and former Paycom employees—either victims of the firing spree or part of a fledgling internal resistance—reach out with more info about The Great Paycom Employee Purge of 2024.
Because many of these Moles can’t speak publicly about their termination or the current conditions inside the company’s green walls, I thought I’d share – as a valuable community service to our readers and subscribers – some snippets from these dispatches.
They provide an interesting inside look at the callous and not-so-professional way the paranoid CEO of a large local employer treats the Oklahomans who work hard for him.
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63. Deadbeat Dunk: Desmond Mason Jailed For Failing To Pay Child Support
Date Published: 11/13/24
Thanks to a tip via the Ogle Mole Network, we’ve learned that Desmond Mason—a former OSU great, NBA slam dunk champ, and self-described “ARTrepreneur”—was booked today in the Oklahoma County Jail on contempt of court charges related to unpaid child support.
His bond was set at $50,000, and as of publication time, he is in the process of being released.
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64. Pray And Obey Ryan Walters Demands All Oklahoma Students Watch Trump Prayer Video
Date Published: 11/15/24
As we’ve mentioned a few hundred times in the past, Ryan’s whole political shtick is to seek out publicity and infamy by doing and saying stupid, shocking things that stick it to the libs – and, apparently, anyone else who appreciates fundamental principles in the U.S. Constitution, like the separation of church and state. He then feeds off that news cycle until there’s a new controversy (or tragedy) for him to exploit.
That’s obviously what’s happening here. When the lawsuits start rolling in, and he begins trying to revoke the licenses of superintendents who refuse to indoctrinate (and politicize) their students – while promoting the ones who do – he’ll accomplish his goal.
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65. Rodent Invasion Plagues The Village
Date Published: 11/19/24
Normally, rats appearing in The Village isn’t a big news story. The two usually go hand in hand, like golden doodles in Edmond or scabies in Valley Brook. But this particular rat infestation is apparently a bigger problem than the usual one plaguing the city.
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66. Womp Womp Ryan Walters Passed Over For US Secretary Of Education
Date Published: 11/20/24
Although he’s putting on a happy social media face, you know this had to bother Ryan and his puppet master, Matt Langston. I’d bet he went out to his backyard and smashed a couple of tennis rackets against the side of his house – or maybe called in fake bomb threats to schools over library books – to blow off steam.
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67. Cassie Heiter Leaving News 9 For The Big D
Date Published: 12/2/24
We’d like to wish Cassie the best of luck in this new chapter of her green-screen journey.
The good news is she’s only moving down to Dallas, so whenever Oklahomans head there to visit family or shop at Buc-ee’s or IKEA, there’ll be another familiar face – à la Rick Mitchell or Peyton Yeager – on TV to make them feel like they’re in a bigger, better and more expensive home away from home.
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68. Hideaway Pizza goes viral for slicing employee pay…
Date Published: 12/3/24
Over the past 24 hours or so, I’ve had about a dozen or so people send me a link to a viral Reddit thread about Hideaway Pizza cutting a thick slice of pay from their “commissioned” bartenders and servers.
The post—which has been upvoted over 16,000 times—features a photo of a corporate letter pinned to a bulletin board at an unknown Hideaway location. In it, the company explains why they’re 86’ing an apparently popular commission program introduced during the pandemic.
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69. Tulsa Man Who Spells ‘Concert’ with a K Gets $3-Million Loan to Save Gold Dome…
Date Published: 12/18/24
Earlier this week, something called the Classen Corridor Revitalization TIF Review Committee – or TCCRTIFRC for short – announced they’re giving a $3-million loan to a concert promoter from Tulsa to flip the flawed and troubled money pit known as the Gold Dome on NW 23rd and Classen into a concert venue and event center.
What could possibly go wrong, right?
