Last week, officials with OKC Will Rogers International Airport released the results of a highly anticipated study on the TLO Tower of Excellence—our proposed $4-billion, 3,000-foot skyscraper that will soon stand as the second-tallest building in the world.
The verdict?
The friendly skies of OKC have never been safer!
In fact, airport officials praised the TLO Tower of Excellence for transforming Oklahoma City into a global beacon of air safety.
“This tower isn’t just a beacon—it’s a lighthouse, a fortress, and frankly, a game-changer for pilots navigating OKC skies,” said Matt Goad, noted airport artist and accidental air safety expert.
Jerry Farley, the Southwest Airlines pilot who gave the west metro an impromptu flyover last June, was equally enthusiastic: “With the TLO Tower of Excellence as a guide, pilots will never get lost again. Heck, we’ll stop needing GPS altogether.”
Jennifer Post, a concerned citizen, also chimed in: “If the TLO Tower of Excellence existed in Alaska in 1935, my great-great-grandfather would probably still be alive today. Think about that.”
The glowing report also singled out several innovative safety features that make the TLO Tower stand tall, particularly the 500-Foot Milk Bottle Spire. As a refresher, this environmentally friendly marvel will shoot a GPS-coded white mist into the skies nightly at precisely 19:07 military time, helping pilots recalibrate instruments and honor Oklahoma’s statehood year.
Here’s a simulation:
The report also praised other features, like Edgar Cruz’s Guitar-Operated Light Display, which allows pilots to safely navigate OKC skies by tuning their radios to Edgar’s G-chord-powered light show. Real-time Doppler weather updates from the OKC Storm Chaser Academy’s rooftop interns will keep everyone safe during storm season. And while it’s not technically a safety feature, we’re still pretty proud of the giant interior slide that stretches from the top of the building to the bottom.
Despite its global acclaim as a public safety marvel, the TLO Tower of Excellence is once again being ignored by OKC’s local media. A quick Google search confirms that not one local newspaper, TV station, or well-funded non-profit newsroom bothered to cover the glowing report.
Instead, their attention is inexplicably focused on Legends Tower—the other ambitious, totally unrealistic skyscraper proposal that was recently deemed an “air hazard” by the FAA.
Via Steve Lackmeyer in The Oklahoman:
Construction of the country’s tallest tower in Bricktown is being opposed by the Federal Aviation Administration following concerns voiced by local airports, pilots and at least one airline warning it will jeopardize flight operations throughout central Oklahoma.
Julie Morgan, manager of the FAA’s Obstruction Evaluation Group in Fort Worth, notified Legends Tower developer Scot Matteson that if the building is built at 1,907 feet high it will be a “hazard to air navigation.”
Morgan wrote in the Dec. 4 letter that the study looked at the tower’s impact on existing and proposed arrival, departure and enroute procedures for aircraft, area airports including Tinker Air Force Base, and the combined impact of the tower and three other smaller towers to be built as part of Matteson’s Board at Bricktown development.
What a joke, huh? The TLO Tower of Excellence—a literal beacon of safety—gets zero respect, while Legends Tower, a glorified LEGO model that will literally jeopardize air traffic, gets treated like a serious development. As I write often on this site, "We Get No Respect!"
But that’s fine.
When our frothy milk mist explodes into the sky at precisely 19:07, everyone—from the pilots recalibrating their instruments to the confused, slightly damp pedestrians below—will know who’s truly keeping Oklahoma City safe.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
