Throw a little snowball onto the Senate floor for a homie.
Earlier today, news hit that Jim Inhofe – the long-serving, demented former US Senator from Oklahoma who routinely embarrassed his state on the national stage, and whose legacy will be forever defined by his imbecilic, wrong-side-of-history stance that “global warming is a hoax” – died early this morning at the age of 89.
Surprisingly, his death wasn’t due to a plane crash or toxic algae poisoning, but a severe stroke he suffered over the July 4th holiday.
Funeral services have still not been set, but according to his wishes, the senator will be embalmed with fracking fluid and injected deep under the earth into the Permian Basin, where he can be reborn again, even stronger and deadlier than ever before.
Okay, was that too soon?
I don’t know. Writing obituaries is never easy, especially when you don’t like or respect the person who died, and think they contributed way more harm than good to the world during their lifetime.
As a result, let’s see what the dumb right-wing numbskulls who are now stuck carrying the former Senator’s baton of moronicy had to say:
Although many people around the world who reject accepted science mourned the loss of Inhofe, other groups seemed overjoyed by the news.
For example, the American Society of Pigeons released this statement:
“Senator Inhofe was a tyrant and murderer who orchestrated the senseless slaughter of tens of thousands of pigeons during his putrid lifetime. May all pigeons unite and poop on his grave.”
The National Air Traffic Controllers Association had this to say:
“It’s now safer to fly across the country.”
Say what you want about Jim Inhofe, his policies, controversies and political views, and whether or not he used his influence and power to shield his grandson from any sort of accountability related to the tragic death of Regan Robertson, he did have a remarkable political career, even if he was on the wrong side of history.
Plus, some of his campaign ads can also serve as nice little eulogies with symbolic meaning:
RIP.
