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Shelley Zumwalt conquers Oklahoma Tourism Department…

1:06 PM EST on January 17, 2024

I guess Oklahoma isn’t a bad place to work for everyone!

Yesterday afternoon, Stitt and Co. named Shelley Zumwalt – the chic, determined, donut-bearing ageist who’s risen up the ranks of the Stitt Administration faster than smoke billowing from a Swadley’s Foggy Bottom Kitchen – as the new Oklahoma Secretary of Tourism. 

The move serves as both a testament and reward to Zumwalt's many years of dedicated service to Comrade Stitt, her “get the job done,” “take no elderly prisoners” attitude, and her ruthless campaign to terminate both old people and their favorite TV shows from the financial books of state government.

Here are details via KFOR:

Governor Kevin Stitt has announced Shelley Zumwalt as Oklahoma Secretary of Tourism following a historic year for the state’s tourism industry..

“Shelley Zumwalt has proven herself to be a tourism powerhouse and a compelling ambassador for Oklahoma,” said Governor Stitt. “After seeing the historic numbers from last year, I’ve never been more excited for the future of Oklahoma’s tourism industry — and that means having Shelley at the helm.”

I’m not 100% sure what to think about this promotion.

Kevin Stitt’s number one priority as Governor has always been to privatize state government and, more importantly, figure out how he and his buddies can profit from it, so it’s only natural to question the credentials and motivations of an eager opportunist who’s quickly risen the ranks of his administration. 

Plus, Shelley does have some designer baggage.

As we first and pretty much only reported, she’s been named in multiple age discrimination lawsuits over the past couple of years, and her hard-hitting attitude stokes fear in all frumpy state employees born before 1970.

Plus, I’ve heard that many of the agencies Shelley’s worked with over the years have done business with her husband’s fancy IT firm. If I were a serious news reporter or editor with a local non-profit that only seems to report a few stories a month, I would look into the possible conflicts of interest surrounding that.

That being said, there are some positives. Here are three...

1. With a Stitt footsoldier still in charge at tourism, it means we may get another Swadley's Foggy Bottom Swindle-type scandal to get us more page views and eyeballs. That's great for our business!

2. The State won’t have to look far for a new host for the online version of Discover Oklahoma. Shelley started taking over the role in the series's final few episodes, so that’s one less new hire the state will need to make

3. We finally have a regular from the N. Western bar scene of the mid-aughts making it to the big leagues of state government!

I put Shelley's face into some facial recognition software and these three beauties from The Oklahoman's "Look @ OKC" archive popped up!

I think they were all snapped between 2005 and 2009:

To be clear – I didn't take any of these photos, and I don't think there's anything wrong with someone having fun with friends!

I'm just celebrating the awesome fact that a fellow Western bar bum has finally made it to the unelected mountaintop of Oklahoma government!

Seriously, outside of Shelley, the dude who created that scammy penny auction Qbids and, uh, me, has anyone else who’d begin the night at The Cock Of The Walk for a goblet of beer and end it by doing a round of Lunchboxes following a Pretty Black Chains show at the Speakeasy amounted to anything?

Outside of the trust fund kids who now work for their uncle’s title company, I don't think so!

Anyway, I guess we should congratulate Shelley on the big promotion and pay raise and wish her the best of luck in her continued purge of everything in our state that's old. We can’t wait to follow and cover it all!

Also, I’d like to give a quick shout-out to Look @ OKC. 

It didn’t contribute anything to Oklahoma City culture back when it was in print, but the publication’s old “Out & About” pictorial session is now the only available resource that documents the hairstyles, fashions, and bar choices of Oklahoma City 20-somethings during the dawn of the OKC Renaissance. It's a cool thing to scroll through if you're bored.

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised. 

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