We have great news for all strong fathers, loving mothers, and other people who celebrate white Evangelical American familial stereotypes: It’s Family Month all across Oklahoma!
Yep, just in time for drunken arguments with your family around the Thanksgiving Dinner table, it’s time to celebrate those people we don’t get to choose but still (usually) love the most.
We know this thanks to Governor Stitt:
That’s cool and everything, but what about all the weak alcoholic dads, bitter unloving moms, and non-resilient kids who call their dads for an OHP escort the first minute they’re caught with a bunch of booze and guns at a haunted trail in Guthrie?
Can they celebrate Oklahoma Family Month, too?
And what about those people who don’t fit Stitt’s strict, Norman Rockwell mold of what a family should be? You know, those people who aren’t part of traditional two heterosexual-parent Baptist church-going households.
Do they get to partake in Family Month celebrations?
Based on the proclamation that Stitt issued, I’m not 100% sure:
That’s interesting. If Oklahoma views children as a gift to their parents and a joy to society, why do Stitt and Co. go out of their way to defund public schools and try to cut public funding and services to the God-ordained Oklahoma families who need it the most? I know practicing what you preach isn't a Stitt family value, but I still have to ask!
Always one to pander to white judgemental conservative folks who have rigid and uncompromising views of what a family is and should be, Governor Stitt made sure to publicize the announcement.
Rolling out families as human PR shields, he held a press conference to promote Oklahoma Family Month.
He also issued a press release that makes it seem like “Family Month” was created more in an effort to boost attendance at Oklahoma State Parks than actually celebrate “the foundational institutions of society.”
Via the Governor’s Press Conference:
Governor Kevin Stitt held a ceremonial proclamation signing today to declare the month of November as Family Month in the State of Oklahoma. The launch dedicates November to celebrating families, fostering unbreakable bonds, and championing core family values through social media, strategic partnerships, and community engagement…
For Family Month, the Department of Tourism is offering free admission and waived parking fees at select state parks during the weekend before and after the Thanksgiving holiday to encourage families to travel together during November. Oklahoma families can make memories at 6 participating parks: Thunderbird Park, Forrest Mountain, Robbers Cave, Lake Murray, Lake Wister, and Sequoyah State Park.
"Tourism is Oklahoma’s third largest industry – and it’s because tourism is powered by families,” said Shelley Zumwalt, the Executive Director of the Department of Tourism. "If your priority is family, there’s no better place to be than Oklahoma. I am proud to partner with Governor Stitt’s Office to offer free admission and waived parking fees at select parks across Oklahoma. This month, bring out your family and let’s enjoy Oklahoma together.
Yep!
Instead of partaking in your typical family traditions over the Thanksgiving holiday like watching football with Cousin Ned, going Black Friday shopping with Aunt Kathy, or putting up the Christmas Tree while sipping on hot cocoa, you should start new boring ones, like packing up the grandparents, resilient kids and maybe even the family dog and heading to one of our desolate State Parks for some MAGAlicious Falcone’s Pizza!
Actually, I take some of that back.
Knowing how Tourism Director Shelly Zumwalt treats the olds who work for her, I have a hunch that grandparents probably aren’t encouraged to take part in “Family Month” activities at Oklahoma State Parks. They would totally ruin the young, hip, and coolio vibes she’s trying to project.
Anyway, from The Lost Ogle family to yours, we’d like to wish all families across the state – from traditional dysfunctional two-parent households to ones led by hot single moms – a Happy Oklahoma Family Month.
We hope it’s fun, festive and that you’re not stuck celebrating at a boring state park.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
