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OHP escorts Stitt’s under-age son home after he was caught intoxicated with guns at Guthrie haunted house…

There are many unanswered questions, like why does the Governor's son have such poor taste in alcohol?

11:20 AM EST on November 19, 2022

Earlier this week, former Oklahoma US Attorney Bobby Don Gifford shared a tweet openly asking why Kevin Stitt’s underaged son – John-Boy Drew Stitt – was caught driving around with guns, booze, and other alleged items at a haunted house in Guthrie on Halloween night. 

The tweet quickly caught fire in the local Shit-on-Stitt Twitter echo chamber, and before you could say “Oh Hipster Boo Boo where are you,” Fox 25 had the biggest Oklahoma gubernatorial spawn story since Christina Fallin parked her trailer on the Governor’s Mansion’s grounds

Check this out!

When I saw the tweet I wasn’t too surprised. 

Since Kevin Stitt’s gaffe-fueled reign as Governor seems to mirror that of Mary Fallin, it’s way past the time one of his kids goes full Hipster Boo Boo and becomes an embarrassing PR nightmare and liability. If we’re going to have to tolerate another four years of Stitt rule, the Oklahoma people deserve some entertaining family drama controversies to go with it!

Plus, back in October, I heard rumblings via the Ogle Mole Network that the same Stitt boy threw a “Do You Know Who My Dad Is” temper tantrum, and tried to forcibly remove a boot that OSU Campus Police put on his truck for parking violations!

I don’t know if that story is true, but where there’s smoke, I guess there’s usually an underaged trust-fund kid with a powerful dad getting away with alcohol-related crimes after he was caught causing a ruckus with his friends while intoxicated at a haunted house in Guthrie while hauling around a bunch of guns and ammo!

Channel 25 got its hands on a Logan County Sheriff’s Department incident report. It’s not 100% clear and his some convenient holes in it, but my paraphrased TLDR interpretation is…

• John-Boy Drew Stitt – a.k.a. Lil’ Stitter – and some pals loaded up on some Natty Lite and Twisted Tea and packed into his truck and drove from Stillwater down to a haunted house in Guthrie. 

• While at the haunted house, someone in the Stitt posse threw a Twisted Tea can at another car in the parking lot. 

• Somehow, someway, a “Pelican-like box” containing a bunch of firearms and ammunition, including one belonging to Kevin Stitt, found its way out of Lil’ Stitter’s truck and into the parking lot. 

• The cops were called and the Logan County Sheriff's Department did some investigating. Lil’ Stitter stepped up and admitted he was intoxicated, the son of the Governor, and that the guns belonged to him and his dad.

• The Sheriff’s Department called Lil Stitter’s mommy – First Lady Sarah Stitt – who called the OHP and quickly dispatched a trooper to the scene. 

• OHP selected the one member of Stitt’s posse who didn’t appear to be intoxicated to drive Stitt’s truck back to Stillwater along with a personal OHP escort. 

• From there, no charges were filed and everyone went home and prayed to God – the new owner of Oklahoma – that the media would never find out about it. Womp womp.

Once again, that’s just my interpretation. The report is hard to follow and seems to have some intentional holes, but you can read it here. 

If you ask me, the major takeaway is that although Stitt was underage, intoxicated, and had cases of Natty Light and Twisted Tea in his car, including empty cans, he wasn’t charged with any alcohol-related crimes. 

I talked with my pal John Hunsucker, the top DUI attorney in Oklahoma, and based on his reading of the police report, he said Lil’ Stitter could have been charged with “Minor in Possession” and “Public Intoxication.” 

He also said that, depending on the circumstances, Stitt could have been charged with the DUI-related crime of Actual Physical Control. 

John said it was less clear if there were any infractions related to the possession of firearms. It depends on a variety of factors (were the guns loaded?) and who handled them. Also, I guess Lil’ Stitter is a member of the National Guard which gives him a bit of an out clause in a variety of Oklahoma statutes.  

In addition to whether or not laws were broken and why Lil’ Stitter wasn’t charged like a normal citizen would have been, the other big question is why OHP was called to the scene, and why exactly they escorted Lil’ Stitter and Co. back to Stillwater? I’m sure that’s a Tipsy Tow-style service every Oklahoma citizen would like to have!

Also, what the hell is a kid with rich parents doing with a case of Natural Lite? I know drinking cheap nasty beer is a right of passage for most Oklahoma high school and college students, but don't you think that the Governor's son could afford better, especially when he has a State Trooper on stand-by to probably buy him any beer he wants?

Obviously, we know the answers to those questions – the Oklahoma law enforcement community and OHP are always eager and happy to selectively enforce laws when it comes to their friends in the First Family – but I guess it’s worth asking. 

Anyway, we’ll keep our ears to the ground on this one and provide any updates as they become available. 

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised. 

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