At least one Oklahoma teacher knows how to handle the first-day-of-school jitters!
Last week, Kimberly Coates – a third-grade teacher at Perkins-Tryon Intermediate School – lived out every teacher’s fantasy and got shit-faced at school.
Unfortunately for Coates, she took things a bit too far and the fantasy turned into a nightmare:
Perkins Police said Perkins-Tryon school officials contacted the school resource officer in regards to a possibly intoxicated teacher around 3:20 p.m. Thursday.
The SRO met up with the teacher, Kimberly Coates, who teaches third graders, and said she was under the influence of alcohol.
Perkins police said Coates gave them a breath sample that showed a blood alcohol concentration of .24.
Wow. Even by Nichols Hills housewife day-drinking standards, scoring a .24 in the middle of the afternoon is pretty impressive! According to this chart, that’s about eight drinks for a 140 lbs female. I bet all the other teachers can’t wait to hear how she did it! Did she pour half a bottle of Jack into a Route 44 Coke Zero, or did she simply chug shots in a stall in the bathroom?
According to the Stillwater News Press, Coates came up with a bad lie to justify it: