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Patrick’s Friday News Round-Up (3)

7:08 AM EDT on August 20, 2021

I hope everyone had a super week!

The soundtrack for this edition of my Friday news round-up is my favorite new British spoken word post-punk art rock band – Dry Cleaning. Their guitar-heavy riffs and dancy bassadelic sound has hints of Les Savy Fav, and if you know what that means, we can be friends.

At the end of each week, I try to highlight some of the local news stories, tidbits, oddities and other things that made the TLO radar, but due to my laziness and lack of motivation, didn’t get their own article.

Here's my Friday News Roundup!

Stitt volunteers to accept Afghan refugees

Even though he's not a fan of people in his own hemisphere fleeing repressive regimes to live in the United States, and never seemed too concerned with the previous president forcing kids into cages at the southern border, Kevin Stitt announced he's standing up to Joe Biden, and that Afghan refugees are welcome in Oklahoma. Or something like that.

Since the entire GOP platform seems to be based on doing the exact opposite of what Democrats want to do, I wonder if Dems would be better off going with a bizarro agenda to help implement their real one? You know, maybe Biden should hold a press conference tomorrow claiming he wants to lower taxes on the rich, outlaw masks in schools and end Obamacare. That will get some results.

Not every GOP bonehead is in agreement with Stitt, though. His bigoted, compassionless brethren in the Derplahoman Party aren't taking it...

https://twitter.com/reeseg_3/status/1428492862996504576

Covid ruins Yukon Senior Ice Cream Social

I know they're trying to do the right thing, but wouldn't it be safer to have the old folks eat their ice cream in a controlled environment with their peers at a Senior Center as opposed to sending them to Braum's? Also, I like how a mortuary is a sponsor of a senior ice cream social. They should also support chicken fry cookouts and social smoking hours.

Social media lets us know 3rd grader wrote Stitt a letter

The local media really ran with this story that felt more like a liberal publicity stunt. Considering most Oklahomans have a third-grade reading level, I honestly don't see what the big deal is.

David Payne lectures Germans for filming tornado

Yep, the dude who became famous for being a reckless buckaroo stormchaser who'd drive into the teeth of a tornado is now judging clueless Germans for dabbling in the Oklahoma-proud hobby of filming a tornado from their back porch. Hypocrite much? That would be like Emily Sutton getting mad at someone for riding a Pegasus through rainbows while not wearing a seatbelt.

Worms Invade Oklahoma

The east coast can take their cicadas and shove it! I'd much rather deal with those green flying missiles than worms. Then again, it appears armyworms also do a good job of keeping your grass short, so maybe they're better.

Stillwater to fork over $100K in vaccine bribes

I'm all for trying to get as many people vaccinated as possible, and that includes bribing people to do it. That being said, can state, cities and other municipalities make these contests and giveaways – sans OSU tickets – retroactive? Why should the responsible people who did their part and got vaccinated early in the game be punished for doing the right thing?

Cop forgets to put sexual assault charge on resume

"How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains!"

It's not surprising that the Uncle Rico of Oklahoma Governors would want to toss lasers with a high school football team. After practice, I bet he went door-to-door selling the 24 piece set.

Muskogee Building collapses

In all fairness, the Royal Casket building probably needed to be buried.

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Anyway, I guess that concluded this week's recap. We'll get back into the flow of things next week.

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