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Ogle Madness XIII

Ogle Madness: Midwestern Conference, Lower Bracket

It's time for the final bracket of the first round of Ogle Madness! If you're a Lost Ogle Member, and you probably should be, you can check out all the results from other rounds by looking through our Ogle Madness XIII page here.

Anyway, here are the final matchups for the first round. Vote below:

(6) Damon Lane vs (11) Craig Groeschel
(3) Garth Brooks vs (14) Dippin Dots CEO
(7) The Gold Dome vs (10) Milk Bottle Building
(2) OKC Cock Ring vs (15) Sassan Moghadam

(6) Damon Lane

Who: Chief KOCO meteorologist

Biggest Strength: Has his own air freshener

Biggest Weakness: Too into athleisure wear on his days off



(11) Craig Groeschel

Who: megachurch pastor

Biggest Strength: Raising money

Biggest Weakness: Taking taxpayer money



(3) Garth Brooks

Who: The largest music star to ever come from Oklahoma

Biggest Strength: He's sold nine diamond-status records, and he fuckin wrote 'Rodeo' what more do you want?

Biggest Weakness: His alter-ego was Chris Gaines, and that was very silly and embarrassing


(14) Dippin Dots CEO

Who: Rich guy who runs a weird food stall you only see at malls and water parks

Biggest Strength: Dressing up in disguise for a TV Show

Biggest Weakness: Drives drunk in Edmond like the kind of maniac who would want to run Dippin Dots



(7) The Gold Dome

Who: The historic building on 23rd and Classen that looks like a giant Ferrero Rocher

Biggest Strength: Majestic, unique architecture that defines Uptown Oklahoma City

Biggest Weakness: Will probably be torn down to build a Del Taco and Jack in the Box because nobody knows what the fuck to do with the building


(10) Milk Bottle Building

Who: A tiny historic landmark with a massive sculpture of a Braum's milk bottle on top that bigger than the building itself

Biggest Strength: Acting as one of the most major landmarks in the Asian district, and Oklahoma City as a whole

Biggest Weakness: You can't get a giant bag of bahn mi sandwiches for a few bucks anymore



(2) OKC Cock Ring

Who: A very misguided sculpture in Downtown OKC that is... suggestive

Biggest Strength: Making juvenile cretins like us laugh like teenagers who just found porn in the woods

Biggest Weakness: Being an unattractive and meaningless monument taking up space in a dense urban area


(15) Sassan Moghadam

Who: A co-founder of the wingnut Unite Norman Group

Biggest Strength: Threatening teenagers with bricks

Biggest Weakness: Big boomer 'get off my lawn' energy



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