I hope you had a nice and happy holiday, got lots of presents and didn't gain too much weight.
My holiday season was pretty terrible. It began with my grandmother's funeral on Black Friday (you can read her obituary here) and ended with the OU football requiem on New Year's Eve. In between all that, my 53-year-old uncle was diagnosed with a rare (but manageable) form of pancreatic cancer, my Level 4 Ogle Groupie and I split up the week of Christmas, and KFOR put me on Social Media Bandit cage duty on New Year's Day. Fun times, huh.
But, I guess it wasn't all that bad. I got some beef jerky for Christmas. That was tasty. Aaron Tuttle sued us, which generated a lot of traffic during a slow part of the year. And at least I wasn't caught having sex with a goat on Christmas Eve. That's positive, right? It's exactly what happened to Darryl Gene Scoggin (pictured above). I guess it was the big national Oklahoma embarrassment news story while I was on "vacation."
Via The Washington Times, which was the first news link that popped up when I googled "Oklahoma Man Goat:"
Oklahoma City police arrested a man on Christmas Eve after he was allegedly caught having sex with a goat.
Darryl Gene Scoggin, 53, was arrested on Dec. 24 and charged with one count of committing a crime against nature, first reported KOKH, a local Fox affiliate.
Authorities arrived at a Oklahoma City farm at around 10:30 p.m. that evening after receiving a 911 call. Once on the scene, a witness told them he had spotted a man later identified as Scoggin on surveillance video with his pants around his ankles, holding down a goat and “obviously having sexual intercourse with the goat.” The witness told investigators he then grabbed a firearm and bolted towards the barn, then chased the suspect down after a brief pursuit and held him at gunpoint until he could be brought into custody.
So, uhm, how do you know that someone is "obviously having a sex with a goat," unless you have either had sex with a goat, or have seen a person have a sex with a goat? Is it like pornography and one of those "You know it when you see it" type of deals?
When police scoured the scene of the supposed crime for clues, the recovered a jacket allegedly belonging to Scoggin in the goat pen with a bottle of vodka in the pocket.
“The reporting party told police this is not the first time this has happened to their goats,” the station reported.
Uhm, this isn't the first time someone has had sex with one their goats??? Did they just move here from Stillwater or something?!
Okay, that was a mean, offensive joke. I apologize to all the OSU fans out there. I take it back. Anything else?
One of Scoggin’s nicknames, according to the Oklahoma Department of Corrections, is “Cowboy.” He had not previously been charged in Oklahoma with having sex with an animal.
His nickname is Cowboy?! I take back my apology. Also, I guess I finally understand the lyrics to Toby Keith's "I should have been a Cowboy." It now has a totally different meaning.