I'm not sure if it's one person, or simply a collective of recent college graduates strapped in front of a computer and connected to feeding tubes in the KFOR basement, but I've always had a love / hate relationship with the KFOR Social Media Bandit.
I love the easy material the bandit has provided over the years, like when it wished Christians a happy Zombie Jesus Day, asked if more teens with STDs is a bad thing, and invented something called a skunk fuck eliminator. On the other hand, I can't stand the "You won't believes," "What do you thinks," and constant clickbait and faux news it uses to pander to its Facebook crowd.
Sometimes, this smörgåsbord of "Click Me! Click Me" is in your face. For example:
The fact the KFOR helped spread something so ridiculous isn't very surprising. They are the same channel that helped a man get the word out that Jesus Christ was living inside his bedroom door.
Other times, the clickbait is very very subtle. For example, check out this headline on their website:
What's that you say? Someone robbed a popular pizza shop in Norman? I wonder which one it was. Pizza Shuttle? New York Pizza?
Here's the answer:
Authorities are trying to find a man who robbed a Norman pizza shop late Monday night.
Around 10:30 p.m., officers with the Norman Police Department were called to a robbery at the Marco’s Pizza, located at 1004 24th Ave. N.W.
Witnesses told police that after the business was closed, a man walked into the shop with a gun.
They told officers he grabbed some of the money and ran away from the store.
So far, no arrests have been made.
Come on, KFOR Social Media Bandit! That's not cool. You're telling me a popular pizza place in Norman was robbed, and that popular pizza place is Marco's Pizza? What? Where? Who? Isn't that a new chain of franchises for people who are tired of Little Caesar's? How can you call it popular when pizza lovers like me forget it even exists? What's next? Taco Mayo is a popular Mexican food restaurant?
Anyway, I know what you're thinking. "Patrick, are you really flipping out that the KFOR Social Media Bandit thinks Marco's Pizza is popular?" Yes. Yes, I am. I take my pizza seriously, almost as seriously as the KFOR Social Media Bandit does in driving traffic to its website. Plus, it's a slow news day. I need get pageviews somehow.
p.s. - Sorry about the posting the image of Aaron Bracket frantically searching for a bathroom after eating some Marco's Pizza. It's the only image in our archives that was fitting.
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