This has been a rough week for most of us. Between holidays, ice and snow, and those "sick" days you took for last-minute Christmas errands, jumping back into the routine of a fully functioning adult has been tough to say the least. Plus, you know, Netflix. Thanks to a month's worth of short weeks, Netflix, my couch, and I have been getting pretty intimate.
Oh yeah, and it's f#$&ing cold outside. Like, cold to the point where I dread showering. Like, cold enough that I've succumbed to my puppy peeing all over my house because he's too scared to go in the ice and snow (and well, I don't blame him). It also doesn't help that I'm the kind of petite female who gets chili in 68 degree indoor temperatures. This week especially, the contrast between my warm blankets on my couch and trudging through slush and Arctic winds to sit in a drafty cubicle has been a struggle.
So if you, like myself, have spent all morning perusing Buzzfeed in your winter coat and snow mittens, I've come up with a few uh, more creative and (slightly) more subtle ways you can stay toasty and get through the rest of winter. Check 'em out after the jump.
1. Warm your hands on fresh copied paper. Okay fine, press your face against your hot stack while no one's looking.
2. Hide a Snuggie in your filing cabinet. Snuggies have slightly more dignity than say, footie onesie pajamas.
3. Do an office-themed crossfit workout during break. Do jump squats on stacks of printer paper, burpees in the breakroom, and suicide sprints up and down your cubicle row.
4. Sing bonfire songs around the coffee maker. Kumbaya.
5. Wear Ugg boots under your work trousers. I've done it before. I'm not going to judge. Unless you're a man.
6. Hold a cup of shitty coffee at all times. You know, for the residual cup warmth.
7. Read anything Sally Kern has ever said. Nothing makes my blood boil quit like a racist, homophobic, woman-hating twat.
8. Wear a ski mask at your desk. But not if you work at a bank.
9. Plot to break in to Mary Fallin's swimming pool. She likes that thing toasty, and it's bound to be more fun than another lame office happy hour.
10. Trick the Jimmy John's delivery guy into delivering right to your desk. Faking injury, or feigning temporary loss of hearing or sight are totally kosher excuses in this application.
