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ICYMI

Report: Oklahoma men have small…penises?

1:58 PM EST on December 4, 2013

serge ibaka

Apparently some people don't consider Serge Ibaka to be an Oklahoman.

Earlier this week, a website named Condomania.com ranked the US states by average penis size. Oklahoma was ranked a fresh out of the swimming pool 38th.

The rankings were determined by measuring the ratio of men in each state who drive heavy-duty pickup trucks and multiplying it by the average shoe size of each state legislature. Just kidding. That would have put us at number 50.

The real rankings were even less scientific than that. From PR News Wire:

This is how Condomania arrived at their rankings: Condomania.com has a huge selection of both smaller size condoms, like Lifestyles Snugger Fit condoms and the Iron Gripper Snugger Fit condoms, and larger sized condoms such as the popular Trojan Magnum condoms and the Lifestyles Skyn Large condoms. All condom sales data was compiled by state. Then, the percentage of customers purchasing small or large size condoms was compared to the total of customers who purchased regular sized condoms.

"We are happy that we can provide condoms for every size penis," stated Nicole Donnelly from Condomania. "We have condoms of all sizes for every man in the world. We are happy that men are getting the right size to maximize their pleasure."

So they based their study upon the men who buy their condoms online??? What a joke. Knowing that, I think it means we're probably ranked 12th. Seriously, the only guys who buy condoms online are either cowards, soccer players, or have really small penises. They could also be making water balloons. The rest of us get our Magnums at Walgreens along with some chapstick, M&Ms and rubber bands. You don't go to some silly website called Condomania.

Even if these study is correct, should we be ashamed? Hell no! Oklahoma usually ranks in the low 40s when it comes to health, education, crime, income and infrastructure. If anything, being ranked 38th is an improvement. That being said, expect Mary Fallin to launch an emergency study on this topic immediately. I bet she even heads the task force.

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